#and there are so many songs that just make that guilty feeling worse

[purplereadingenthusiast]

YES I 100% AGREE

there are literally SO many songs about the love interest being unable to return their feelings and none about the person on the other end!!

(Speaking from experience) it’s so hard, especially if it’s someone you’re friends with, because you don’t want to make them sad but you don’t want to lead them on, you don’t want them to drift away and stop being friends with you but you don’t want them that way. And it can make you feel horrible because you care about them, but not in the way they care about you, and you know that because of this they’re hurting.

sorry for the mini-rant but I’m really passionate about this lol

We need more songs about unrequited love from the perspective of the person who's rejecting someone else's advances (i am aromantic)

[evanpetersmybf]

Be mine?

Tate Langdon x female!reader

Summary: Meeting you was his destiny. He had to make you his so he could feel alive... It was meant to be.

Genre: Smut.

Word count: 3,172

Warnings: Virgin and inexperienced reader, mentions of bullying, self-harm (just once and is nothing detailed), obsessive and stalkish behavior, swearing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected p in v and cumshot.

A/N: English isn't my first language and this is my first time writing smut, so sorry if it sucks or if I have grammatical mistakes or something TT. Btw, also sorry if Tate's out of character. Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ཐི ♡ ཋྀ

Tate had another bad day. It was the usual. Bullying, failed tests, the teacher humiliating him after he couldn’t solve a simple equation on the chalkboard, his mother scolding him. Nothing seemed new, and it seemed that nothing wasn’t going to change at any point.

He needed something, a reason to live, something to make him feel alive. Because he was dead. Dead in life, which in his own opinion, was even worse than being a rotten corpse.

He headed to the music store after secretly stealing some of his mom’s money, just a few bucks; the enough amount to buy a vinyl or some CD’s. Tate was sort of a music elitist, always believing that the artists nowadays just created pure, hollow, and trashy songs. In fact, he didn’t believe those could even be considered music.

Walking around the nearly empty store, rummaging through the shelves filled with Nirvana vinyl’s, someone bumped into him.

“Oh, sorry.” You spoke, after accidentally taking too many steps back and bumping into Tate’s behinds.

He frowned, somewhat annoyed at you for disturbing his moment of peace. The blonde turned around to look at who it was, scanning your body from head to toe, taking note of your appearance. Then, his dark eyes drifted to the sign that was on top the shelf, which indicated the musical genre of the records that were on that rack. Alternative pop. His gaze went to the album you were hugging to yourself.

“Cry Baby? What type of crap is that?”

“Huh, excuse me?”

“Never mind, you won’t understand.” Tate talked in such a volatile and rude manner, already feeling superior because of his likes.

You arched an eyebrow. What was his problem? You did nothing to him and yet he was here, judging your amazing music taste.

“Well, people’s free to like whatever they want to, hmm?”

“Uh, yeah, but what’s the point of that if everything is so generic?”

“Have you ever listened to Melanie Martinez at least once?”

He shook his head no, still scowling, now fidgeting with a ring that was on one of his fingers.

“Have you listened to Nirvana?”

“Just like… Two songs?”

“Don’t tell me. Smells Like Teen Spirit?”

“Guilty.”

Tate rolled his eyes. What was going on with this generation? What happened to good music, to the greatest artists? Why was everyone just listening to trash?

After sharing your names and a few more words, debating about who was right and who wasn’t, you placed one of your hands over his right shoulder, as an attempt to stop his rant of how superior he was. And indeed, it worked. The teen stopped venting and stared at you, all confused and a bit uncomfortable. You noticed it and quickly stepped back, apologizing for touching him without permission. He told you it was okay, that you just surprised him. But deep down, that simple yet complex touch meant a lot to Tate, even if it was absolutely nothing to you.

For the first time he felt something more than sorrow.

“So… What do you think of this? I’ll make you listen to some songs by Melanie and other artists, and I’ll listen to your beloved beautiful grunge music.” You said those last words in a mocking way.

Tate huffed, clearly offended by the way you referred to his taste. Nevertheless, in the end he agreed with you.

After paying the stuff you two picked, both of you went to Tate’s place. As you walked next to him, your fingers brushed his, making his cheeks turn a light shade of red and his heart flutter. He felt dizzy, not sure about what was going on.

In his house, he took you to his room. The boy didn’t want his mother to see you, otherwise she’d be too nosy and probably scare you and push you away from him, and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Get comfy.” He mused, extending his hand as if inviting you to take a seat wherever you feel to.

“Thanks.” You sat on the floor, using one of the sides of the bed as a support for your back. He did the same and sat right next to you.

He was nervous. So damn nervous and excited. He brought a pretty chick to his place. The Tate Langdon, the outcast, the bullied, that Tate Langdon was in the same room with a girl? He couldn’t believe it.

“Ladies first.” Tate pointed the record-player with his thumb, and you obeyed, placing the CD in it. The music started playing.

“We could’ve used Spotify, y’know?”

“Nah, I don’t like it. I prefer the old school.”

‘Cry Baby’ was the first track that was listened to.

He squinted his eyes and rubbed his chin, analyzing the sounds, the melody, the harmony and of course the lyrics.

Although it wasn’t his style, you definitely were. The way you looked, talked, walked. How you stood up for your beliefs and didn’t allow him to step on you (even if you just discussed about music). It was new for him. He craved your independence. He craved you.

That was the very moment when he realized that you were the thing he was looking for all his life. You were the one who was meant to be his, he was meant to be yours. It was destiny. Tate truly believed it was some kind of divine prophecy, and he wasn’t going to let you go.

He was so immersed in his mind that he didn’t pay attention to the song anymore. He was solely focused on you, remembering how warm and kind your touch was, how sweet your voice was. ‘Oh, she’s mine’, he thought.

“So… That was the first track. Its name’s Cry Baby. Did you like it?”

Tate snapped out of it and bit his bottom lip. He didn’t listen to your question.

“I’m sorry, what did you?—”

“Did you like the song?”

“Ah, yeah yeah. It’s quite… Innovative. I’ve never heard something like that.”

You smiled and clapped your hands. “Of course! She’s such a genius. Let’s finish the album, hm?”

He just nodded, as a little smirk appeared on his face.

The days flew by, and Tate asked you out on many friendly dates. Or at least that’s what you thought because you were so oblivious at the fact that he had a fat crush on you.

With every hang out, you noticed that Tate was lonely. Like, really lonely. Maybe that’s why he was so clingy with you.

He told you about his family, about how annoying Constance was, about his siblings and about how his father left him behind. He also mentioned the bullying he suffered and almost talked about the self-harm but stopped himself.

Both of you grew closer, as his obsession.

Since you went to a different school, he would skip class and infiltrate your campus just to see you. He couldn’t stand being away from you. And if he did, his mind was full of you, thinking of you all day, unable to focus on his homework and tests. Tate didn’t care anymore if he failed subjects, as long as you were next to him, he was happy and alive.

The void he once felt, was now fulfilled with your mere presence. You could step on him, and he would thank you. In his twisted little mind, you were free to have everything of him.

He was willing to do anything to keep you by his side. The thought of losing was so terrifying that it would make him throw up.

Tate learned every single detail about you. Your mannerisms, your likes and dislikes, your dreams, and your fears. Everything. And that includes your schedule since you wake up, and since you go to sleep.

That was his definition of love. No one ever taught him about how to express it, and he ended up being the way he was with you.

One day he invited you over to his place. The Langdon's house was empty, and he was going to take advantage of it. No doubt.

“Your mom isn’t home?” You questioned as you followed him behind, going upstairs straight to his bedroom. Little did you know this wasn’t going to be another afternoon of playing board games while listening to some music.

“Nah, dunno where she went but she won’t be back any time soon.” He shrugged and let you inside of his private space,

You went to lay down on bed, feeling relief in your aching back after a long day at school. “Damn, I need some rest!”

Tate chuckled softly and sat on the edge, looking at you as you closed your eyes and tried to relax. He was focused on your steady and calm breathing, on how your breasts went up and down with every inhalation and exhalation. His eyes stared at your lips, at how kissable they looked. He felt a sudden desire, the intense urge to make you his. Feeling conflicted, he shook his head and tried to distract himself, pretending to ignore how aroused he was getting.

He wasn’t going to say it out loud, but of course he already had some wet dreams of you. He imagined you beneath him, your precious body shivering and responding to his touch, to his kisses. Your cunt wet and ready for him, just how he wanted to.

“Y/N…” Tate cooed, unable to hold back any longer.

“Yeah?” You opened one of your eyes and spotted him, sitting on the bed with his fists clenched over his thighs, while his breathing looked kinda rapid. “You ‘kay?”

“No.”

“Uh? What’s wrong?” You reincorporated and sat straight beside his warm figure. Your right hand touched his left, rubbing it up and down with your thumb.

Tate shoved you to the bed, pinning your arms above your head and holding them tight.

His breathing pattern was no longer normal. It was a heavy one.

His dark brown eyes locked with yours. Your orbs were wide, not understanding what the hell was going on. Or maybe you did but were in denial.

“Please. I want you.” He purred, seeing you with puppy eyes, the ones he knew you couldn’t resist.

“Hahah, you funny.”

He let out a frustrated whine, almost begging on his knees for you to get the hint.

“I’m not kidding. Pretty please. I need you.”

“Do you mean…?” You raised your head a few centimeters to look at his crotch in order to confirm your suspicions. Your cheeks had a cute blush as soon as you noticed Tate’s erection restrained by his jeans. It looked painful, and it actually was.

“Yes. I want to. Please, I truly need it. Please, please, please?” His voice was shaky and low, a needy desperate whisper. “Can I?”

This wasn’t what you expected for today. You saw Tate as a best friend, but you couldn’t deny he was handsome… And that he already provoked butterflies in your stomach before.

Hesitantly, you gave a shy nod with your head, giving him consent to continue. “But Tate… I’ve never done this before, I dunno what to do, I—” You trailed off, being cut off mid-sentence when Tate placed his lips over yours. The kiss was slow and tender, not rough at all. Your bottom lip was between his, as he nibbled it with extreme care to not hurt you.

After some seconds, he pulled apart and led his hand towards the side of your face, brushing some hairs away. “Don’t ya worry, princess. Leave it all to me, hm? I’ll be gentle. Unless you don’t want me to.” With that being said, he leaned into your neck, pressing his mouth on your sensitive flesh. He left sweet kisses, making you hum as you melted under him.

His lips continued to tease your skin, leaving some little bites between every kiss, trailing down to your collarbone. Tate stopped there and helped you get rid of your blouse, tossing it aside and continued his journey, this time kissing your sternum while his right hand cupped one of your breasts, kneading it gently over the fabric of your bra. He pulled down the straps and took off the piece of lingerie, setting your tits free.

The cold air hit you and your nipples perked up, looking ravishing and making him desire you even more.

He introduced one of the hardened buds into his warm mouth, sucking it greedily and making lewd wet sounds as he did so. His left rubbed the other nipple in circles, taking it with his thumb and index, pulling it and pinching it.

“Hmph… Huh…” You let out soft whimpers, slightly arching your back meanwhile he abused your breasts.

Tate stopped after some minutes, letting go of your nipple and looking at you, grabbing your chin and tilting your head to the side. He approached your ear and whispered, “You like this?”

“Yes…” You begged. Your voice was already ragged and shaky.

Instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, rubbing them as a pathetic try to feel some relief. Tate realized it and spread your legs with one of his hands. He took his digits right to your clothed pussy, eagerly rubbing the spot where your clit was.

“Someone’s already wet? Cute.” He giggled and took off his striped sweater, throwing it away. He positioned himself between your limbs and pulled down your pants, mesmerized as he saw your damp panties. Tate continued rubbing your bundle of nerves over the fabric of your underwear, still fascinated at how humid you were.

This was the moment he had been waiting for the past weeks. He wasn’t going to need to jerk off to your photos anymore, because now he would be able to jerk off to your tits in person.

Tate removed the last barrier that was stopping him from touching your womanhood directly. He pulled them down to your ankles and you helped him to get rid of it by shaking your feet.

He got closer to your cunt and placed your legs over his shoulder, spreading your folds with two of his large digits, blowing some air at the sensitive meat. Finally, he started sucking on your swollen clitoris, enjoying the feeling of your dampness against his face.

“Mmh…” He moaned, still toying with the nub. You grabbed him by the hair, not thinking about what you were doing. You just let yourself go and pulled him closer to your pussy, wanting to feel more. Your body twitched, unconsciously bucking your hips against his mouth that was currently making slurping sounds.

His attention changed and was now on your slit, teasing just the entrance with his hot tongue, while his nose rubbed against your clit. He lapped your pretty cunt, savoring your juices as if they were a delicacy.

Looking at your adorable face contorting in pleasure, he introduced his ring finger into your wet, tight hole. It was a slow and kind movement because the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. He slipped it deeper, pumping it in and out with care, increasing speed after a few seconds once he saw you comfortable. “Tell me if it hurts…”

“Mhm… It feels nice. Huh…” Your melodic whimpers and moans were just too much for him. He could listen to you for the rest of his days and never get tired of you.

Without further ado, he introduced his middle finger, now finger-fucking you with two. Tate’s thumb was also working wonders on your lil’ bundle of nerves in circular motion.

She was clenching around Tate’s large fingers, that he curled inside of her, hitting the right spot to make you squirm and feel a new and foreign sensation in your lower belly.

“Fuck it, I can’t wait anymore.”

He undid his belt, unzipped his pants and pulled down his boxers, quickly getting rid of them and letting them fall to the wooden floor.

You just stared in awe; it was the first time you saw one in real life.

Tate grabbed his hardened cock and stroked it a few times on top of you, finding amusing your silly reaction. The reddish tip was glistening with pre-cum, which he used as lube. He spat at your pussy and rubbed his slick saliva with two digits, before finally thrusting his dick.

He did it slowly, beginning with the head. Eventually, he pushed his entire length, hitting your cervix and stretching you out for the first time.

“Fuck, you’re so tight!” Even if he was taking the lead, he was a whiny mess, vocal and loud.

He continued pounding into you, his gaze never leaving your face. Tate loved how you rolled your eyes to the back of your head and how your little mouth was letting out such nasty sounds.

The room was filled with slapping and wet sounds, created by his skin slapping against yours, his balls always hitting you with every stab. Again, he placed your legs on his wide shoulders to have a better angle and pump into you deeper than before.

His big veiny hands were roaming all over your body, specifically your breasts. Within minutes, he developed an addiction to them. Probably because of his mommy issues? He grabbed them roughly, tweaking both of your nipples as he fucked you mercilessly.

Tate lolled his head as he felt your hole gripping him tight. Very tight.

He increased the pace and moaned your name, begging you to squeeze him tighter.

“Oh, please, please, please!” The blonde kept whining. He left one of his hands taking care of your nipples, while the other went back to torture your clit. He stroked it in circles, and then up and down, applying the enough amount of pressure to make you beg for more.

“Tate, I feel like I’m—”

“It’s okay, let it go, mhm?”

You couldn’t hold yourself any longer and squirted all over him, coating his lower body with your warm fluids.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, gonna cum!” Tate pulled out from your cunt and pumped his cock with his hand finishing with a loud moan. His hot sticky white cum coated your breasts and abdomen, creating an incredible sight that he always imagined.

All spent, Tate threw himself next to you on the bed, pulling a blanket to cover both of you as he filled your pretty face in candy pecks.

“Did it hurt? First time usually does.” He looked at you, concerned for your wellbeing. “I was too rough?”

You laughed and shook your head no, caressing his messy locks with your fingers, tenderly scratching his scalp. “Don’t worry, I’m fine, really.”

Tate smiled at you and kissed you on the lips, “You’re so pretty, Y/N.”

You hugged him from behind, him being the little spoon this time. Your mind was going wild; you were still processing what happened and was about to drift to sleep when he whispered.

“Y/N…?”

“Mh, what is it, Tate?”

“I love you… Please be mine?”

[trashart00]

Less than 12 hours until the release of “The Tortured Poets Department”!

Hence, I present to you, “The Tortured Catboy Department”

Track List:

SIDE A: Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug) / The Tortured Catboy Department / My Lady Abandons Only Her Favourite Partners / Down Bad

SIDE B: So Long, London / But Daddy I Love Her / Fresh Out the Slammer / Akuma !!! (feat Monarch)

SIDE C: Guilty As Sin? / Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me / Even Ladybug Can’t Fix This / loml

SIDE D: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart / The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived / The Cataclysm / Adrien Agreste

Bonus Tracks: The Black Cat / Solitude / Doppelgänger / Tell-Tail Heart

(Love how so many of the original track names still work)

My takes of what each song is about/inspired by under cut (but, if you feel like it, tell me yours :D)

I’m picturing all of these to be from Adrien’s perspective so they reflect mostly his version of the situations rather than the objective reality (especially the Laybug centered ones)

Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug): This one would focus on the sequence in Multiplication where Monarch doesn’t attack and how LadyNoir’s relationship recovers from the events of Season 4.

TTCD: Kept the “Catboy” singular because while there are multiple Catboy identities, there is only one boy underneath them all. Hence while I think it would be about him just stating his issues with everything, it would also focus on loneliness and how his department is understaffed :(

MLAOHFP: All of the Season 4 LadyNoir separation arc angst, with the “Favourite” being a callback to Risk (and kinda a jab at Rena because he thinks that she’s really her favourite, but y’ know, she didn’t abandon her so Rena can’t be her actual favourite)

Down Bad: Mainly about how Chat’s love for LB makes him excuse her behaviors, but also makes him act out (maybe a reference to Elation).

SL,L: About the whole arc of Gabriel sending Adrien to London and all of the memories he would have surrounding this ordeal - key point, not “So Long, Paris” because he didn’t want to leave, and in the end he comes back to a changed world.

BDILH: This one’s either about the Chat Blanc breakup or Gabriel’s dislike of Marinette in Season 5 (or both, with maybe a line about how he feels like this has happened before)

FOTS: Adrien realizing his father is a Bad Person.

Akuma !!! (feat Monarch): This one would be like a song about his daily life and then the chorus would start with a shout of “Akuma!!!” and it would switch to him as Chat Noir. I feel like it would start out with normal life being boring/hero life being fun but as it goes on he grows exhausted. Monarch has a rap verse.

Guilty As Sin?: Chat Blanc centeric - would ask who is to blame for the destruction of the world, like is it Chat because he lost control or Hawkmoth because he took advantage of his son’s emotion?

WAoLOM: Chat Blanc centric at first (like a villain song) but ends with Adrien reflecting on the events of Evolution-Destruction-Multiplication-PS night

ELCFT: I think it would be about his relaction ship with his father and how he wishes there was something he could do to go back to how they were when Emilie was alive but there’s no easy fix and his father keeps on getting worse and worse after any attempt.

loml: A song for Marinette with a bittersweet air - she’s the love of his life but he can’t tell her everything, and she can’t tell him everything either

ICDIWaBH: CatWalker centric - him going back to Ladybug in Kuroneko.

TSMWEL: I actually have three for this one - 1. About Gabriel and his need to domineer because he feels small and powerless. 2. About Adrien feeling small and insignificant. 3.About Plagg because he’s a smol boi (it would be like a lighthearted, cheeky song, like when you sing to your pet about how adorable they are)

The Cataclysm: Literally about how he cataclysmed Monarch, but also about how the event impacted his perception of self.

Adrien Agreste: Ending the album with a song that’s his own name :o.

Now for the variants:

The Black Cat: This one has Chat on the cover and the song is mostly about his bad luck. ‘I Love You It’s Ruining My Life” works both directed at Ladybug and his father.

Solitude: With Chat Blanc on the cover, this one’s about his mother. I think the “You Don’t Get To Tell Me About Sad” is pretty self-explanatory.

Doppelgänger: CatWalker is on this one, his song would be about how he may literally be the same person but he doesn’t fully feel like himself. He had to repress a lot of himself to be CatWalker hence I thought “Am I Allowed To Cry?” fit him really well (especially with Plagg not giving him the time to fully recover before he had to jump back in). Please note the crossed out name (unlike Chat Blanc) because he’s reinventing himself.

Tell-Tail Heart: This one has Ladybug on the cover - wait she’s not a Catboy?? The song is titled “Tell-Tail Heart” as a reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell Tale Heart” and would explore Chat’s perspective of Ladybug’s guilt for keeping secrets, how any excuse she makes is ultimately unimportant because she would do it either way. The fact that this is the only song title with a pun references how Chat tries to lighten the mood and avoid serious conversations, and the “Tail” is supposed to refer to Rena Rouge. The flowers she’s holding are meant to be foxgloves which symbolise secrets and insincerity (they’re also poisonous and damage the heart :)). I also really liked the “Old Habits Die Screaming” for her as it could mean both Chat Noir’s love for her being an old habit that he cannot get rid of, but also her habit of keeping things from him (especially with how she does it again at the end of season 5) being something she can’t stop. It is also him being able to see that, despite what she tells him, her “Heart” is tells him otherwise.

(also would like to point out that he wouldn’t mention Rena by name, he’s upset, not evil)

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

Love Bites {Masterlist}

With your memory spotty, you gravitate toward the first person you see—an old friend from a very old past. But Astarion is keeping plenty of secrets...and he's never been the best liar. How long will it take before his deceptions unravel? And what will you do when you realize just how much damage he's done?

Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, vampire spawn!Tav, fem!Tav, manipulative but guilty/regretful Astarion, Astarion's sexual trauma, Cazador, vampire bite, reader is turned into a spawn, reader is technically one of Astarion's victims

18+ Warnings: vaginal sex, consensual sex, mirror sex, riding, fingering, oral, blood kink, bite kink, loving sex, non-descriptive noncon/dubcon (Astarion’s trauma), Astarion experimenting with his boundaries

Total Word Count: 47,397 words (87 pages)

Notes: The title of this fic (and some of its chapter titles) is heavily inspired by Def Leppard's song Love Bites.

Posting Schedule can be found on my {Updates Page}

CONTENT NOTE: Where Astarion's perspective comes into this fic, I tried writing his experience with his hurt that he has been treated this way along with his "this is what I do" mentality; he's very back and forth about the abuse he's endured and some of my writing reflects that. If that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable in anyway, I completely understand and I encourage you to leave the fic at any point. However, I do believe writing this perspective is necessary, as his blasé take on his sexual trauma is one that I myself have struggled with, as I am sure other survivors have as well.

☟ story parts linked below ☟

Best Unremembered {Chapter 1} Waking up with a spotty memory and the only person you do remember is jarring enough—but it only gets worse when the people who remember you are monsters and strangers.

Walking Corpses {Chapter 2} Astarion's night spent searching for prey is interrupted by an unwelcome feeling of familiarity. Your life is derailed by recognizing a long-dead friend.

Little Love {Chapter 3} Appearances can be deceiving, but they can also tell you everything you need to know. A second look at the elf you once called a friend is all you need to fill in the two-hundred year gap.

The Golden Elf {Chapter 4} Sometimes, vampires choose their spawn specifically. Sometimes, they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and are lost to their loved ones for centuries. These days, that's all you can think about.

Little Star, Little Sun {Chapter 5} A long-awaited reunion that doesn't go quite as planned can lead to many things, especially when two manipulators both lay their traps for one another. Though is it really a trap when all you want to do is spare your lover from yet another night of torment?

Love Bites {Chapter 6} Astarion remembers you, but it's already too late. He's bedded you and remembered the love and life you had together, two hundred years ago, and now he has to make a choice. Does he sacrifice himself, or does he sacrifice you?

Love Bleeds {Chapter 7} Fangs gleam in the shadows and a coffin lies open nearby. Vampire lords are nasty creatures; even a changed heart can do very little when there are claws around it.

On My Knees {Chapter 8} A betrayal so severe even centuries of love threaten to break beneath its weight. Yet you offer forgiveness, even if Astarion has not felt its kindness in two hundred years.

Second Chances {Epilogue} Home is a place and home is people. You have quite the large family now, and it's time to provide for them, however you may.

Love Bites Soundtrack — 3h50min

Chapter 1: tracks 1 - 6 Chapter 2: tracks 7 - 13 Chapter 3: tracks 14 - 19 Chapter 4: tracks 20 - 26 Chapter 5: tracks 27 - 32 Chapter 6: tracks 33 - 40 Chapter 7: tracks 41 - 46 Chapter 8: tracks 47 - 53 Epilogue: tracks 54 - 60

[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]

Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin

Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the Astarion taglist!} @wayward-hel @cheeslyy @ofmyth-andmagicart @neetheslayer @whispering-depths @freesidexjunkie @lightsinmycity @the0ldmann @gobbodoggo @oooof-ifellforyou @beeblisss @fangboner @aquaarietes @fiercest-eigengrau-skies @niqhtfell @call-me-nyxx @lueji-m @ceres-xiv @tricksy-trinity @graynstairs @rosa-rubus @ynisthatyou @thegoodwitchs-blog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @kiyastrf94 @vincemachina @silverfangmarks @ravenswritingroom @hinata7346 @hellethil @caramel-hufflepuff @beemiilk @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @starwatch77 @julianmarie @sadexistentialism @supernaturallover15 @writinghound @frankie-mercury @kindadolly @infernalrusalka

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

❝Oh, oh-oh❞

Konig x male!reader | nsfw, smut | sub. bttm. reader (AMAB) | wc: 3,747

warnings: public sex, crossdressing, feminization, anal fingering, blowjob, slight sexual humiliation towards reader, light degradation, dacryphilia

in an attempt to win an argument with your boyfriend, you hit a few low blows but he bests you by bringing up how pathetic you were from a few nights ago.

"God, it is freezing out there" A large hand brings you closer to Konig's side. He rubs your arm though the pressure is barely felt through the thick coat you wore but the gesture is sweet. "I thought the Earth was supposed to get warmer, you know I'm starting to believe that that's just a scam" Konig chuckles. "You are just not built for this weather, babe" He teases as he slings a heavy arm around your shoulder to reach towards your covered face. "Well, I'm sorry I'm not built to survive inhuman levels of temperature, I'm sorry only one of us can be an operator for a private military contractor — Mpfh!" The same gloved hand that offered you comfort mere seconds ago was now planted over your face, tugging your knitted cap down and over your eyes in the process. "Schatz", he warns. [Darling.] His tone is still light despite it. The streets were more or less bare due to the weather but the shops were still aglow with lights. Those poor, poor, retail workers. The only thing staving off feeling completely guilty for stepping into one of the shops and making the already miserable worker have to work in horrid weather was the fact that due to Konig's work relocating the both of you here, your wardrobes were in desperate need of attention. "Hey," He greets them with a nod, his eyes squishing in a façade of a grin. His face was hidden with a mask which he finds a lot of comfort in not only for the fact that he worries someone from work finds out about his face and finds him (or worse, you) but it was less straining to mask his expressions in a conversation.

You rip his hand away from your face with a huff, walking ahead of your boyfriend as a way to show your obvious displeasure. Konig just chuckles and follows along, grabbing a basket. The shop wasn't that big but the brand was a household favourite.

It was a little pricy but Konig had more money than he knew what to do with at times, he can indulge. Plus, the quality and longevity of the clothes were worth it — it was all ethically made as well! A win in both of your books. "Schatz, you can't be mad that I remind you not to speak of my work aloud" his accented voice chides as you look for the basics of a wardrobe. T-shirts in neutral colours, jeans, underwear, and a new winter jacket since yours was doing shit at keeping you warm. "Yeah, yeah, because secret service assassins are constantly listening to you" An arched brow is thrown your way as your larger-than-life boyfriend shadows you. A sigh escapes you and with a dramatic wave of your arm, you place the back of your hand on your forehead and bemoan; "You're so important, schnucki". [sweetie-pie] "A real James Bond, I'm so lucky to be with you". Konig bursts into laughter. The pop song playing on the speakers do little to cover how gleeful the sound was. You stubbornly look ahead, finding immense interest in the different shades of green the t-shirt was made in. He all but towers behind you as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pressing his covered nose to the top of your head as his chest rumbled with amusement. "You're extremely silly, hübscher". [handsome] "Compared to you? Everyone is, obviously" his eyes gleam and his arm squeezes you closer. It makes you halt your movement. That familiar pressure against you, the aura of heaviness suddenly draping over you. Konig can't help but think of how truly lucky you are. How many soldiers, mercenaries, and lowly scum had he crushed with his bare hands just like this? Too many to even count. He preferred keeping his thoughts of work and you on very different sides of the fences but whenever you throw a silly fit he can't help but coo inwardly at it. The blood he's knee-deep in, the strength in his sinewy muscles, and the rank he's earned by his sheer brutality and determination all purr in delight at your stubbornness. At your brattiness. You feel something poking at your back. A feat only Konig's cock could manage despite the thick coat you're wearing. Well, this wasn't a complete shock. After his return, the two of you would spend hours annoying your neighbours, however, your upheaval from your last house was made in haste.

Konig managed to squeeze in some frottaging in the shower last night but jetlag won over. Perhaps that's why it took so little to rile Konig up. He sways and you do too. Konig eyes his peripherals, noting the workers were pretending to look busy reorganizing some jewellery on a gondola so he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"Let's look in a different section," he knows you're about to retort so he grabs your chin and tilts your head backwards that way he can leer down at you.

"Command, not suggestion". He enjoys the way your eyes scan his. The flicker of emotions, the way you wet your lips and a hint of your teeth brushing over your lower lips. He knows the blood pooling around your cheeks isn't just from the cold. Your eyes flutter close then open and he grins behind his mask as he releases your chin/neck.

Konig guides you towards the women's section with a steady gait. A worker gives an apprehensive glance but admittingly got far too embarrassed to stare once you stopped in front of the more...sexy bedroom set display.

Silk lingerie didn't last long in your bedroom sessions with Konig. He's gentle when he wants to be — those lazy morning sex with his tongue working you open and his hands stroking your dick to completion until you're limp and boneless was bliss — but his fetish for dressing you up in delicate lingerie sets always ends with your legs and hips needing a few days to recuperate. His size was another reason why sex with Konig was utterly satisfying and sore inducing but it's not like you dislike it (quite the opposite). "Which one, hm?" This time his arms are circling your waist. It was a shame that he was so covered up because the sight of his veins across the back of his scarred, calloused, hands always made you shiver. God, you can practically see the way his biceps are flexing as he continues to sway again. The silk clothes are all much too raunchy. Suddenly, it's too warm under your layers but that's not the exact reason you're squirming.

Most of them are cute. Feminine-cut clothes that would hang too low on your hips with thin straps that would slip down one shoulder. The ones that weren't cute were the classic lingerie dresses. Their length is so short you knew it would tickle the back of your thighs and hide nothing once bent over. The way it was tailored to hug just under the breasts was meant to give it definition but seeing as you were lacking in that department you'd think Konig wouldn't be a big fan? Wrong. He's as horny as an animal in heat when it came to you but he did have a thing for the way your "tits" couldn't fill out the certain clothes he got you. Maybe he just has a "thing" for you in general. He was insatiable. Konig stops swaying. You snap back into the present and furrow your brows. "Schatz", he purrs. "Yeah, yeah, I'm..." The black silk set catches your eye and you reach for it to feel the lace that lines the bottom hem. Pleased by your choice, Konig reaches for the hanger to pluck it from your hands and into the basket it goes. "Changing room...Mein König?" [My King?] His mask hides his sharp grin but his eyes darken from that warm coffee-coloured eyes to pools of sin.

The changing room was foreign. New country, new city, new surroundings. A sense of relief washed over you as you noted the wooden doors, glad they weren't just curtains held together by some loose velcro straps or hooked onto the opposite wall. The changing room hallway was dimmer than usual but once Konig had opened the doors to the room, it was clear why. He let out a low whistle at the sight of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors backlit by LED strips. The dimension of the space was large enough to not feel too claustrophobic — those mirrors seemed to increase the space as well. You shed your jacket, spotting a stool in one corner of the room meant to be a place to put your clothes, bags, or perhaps someone's horny partner to sit on as they look at you expectantly. The sight of Konig sitting on the tiny seat was comical, you pursed your lips to stop laughing but it couldn't be helped. Konig took off his cap and mask, effortlessly reaching towards the hooks on the wall to hang them before he leans back and tilts his head at you. His long, toned, legs stretched out before him. It invades your space. Overwhelming the room with more of him until the giggles fade away. Unwilling to accept his silence, you prod further. "What? You look cute, okay. All awkward in the corner, is this how you were in high school? All limbs like a spider, bet you were an eye-catcher, baby" He doesn't seem phased by your teasing. With his mask off, you can now ogle his face. That scar on the bridge of his aquiline nose, those strong jaws and sunken eye-sockets that give his eyelid a more hooded look. His top lip is thinner than his bottom, with a prominent cupid bow. Feeling emboldened you shed your knitted cap then your jacket and let it drop to the floor. The scarf twirls around your wrist as you walk forward and bend over to level your eye line with Konig. His downward-facing lashes almost always tickle his cheek — well, when they haven't been burnt off from his close proximity to explosives and fire. Thankfully, they're intact this time and you brush your thumb across his cheek, admiring their length. "You're the cutest little boy, you know?" his eye twitches. Still, he does nothing. Konig simply keeps his eyes on your face. You lean in, breath ghosting along his lips while you grin. "Come on, nothing to say, Mein König? Usually, you're the one that's so fucking loud, whimpering, growling, grunting —" Konig jerks forward. You hold your ground. His silence was both nerve-wracking and gratifying. "Ausziehen. Na." [Strip. Now.] He knows you know what he's saying. There's recognition in those perfectly shaped eyes. Leaning back, he adjusts his broad shoulders and eyes those shapely legs impatiently. "Ich werde nicht zweimal fragen." [I will not ask twice.]

He likes this changing room. Not only could he see the expressions on your face as you strip, but he could also see the view from behind thanks to the mirrors. The lights cast you in an almost angelic glow, a rim lighting that makes your skin all but glimmer. You're bent over, pulling your pants down, when the sounds of your moans fill the room. You nearly split your skull open in your haste to grab the phone from Konig's hand. He lifts his leg and his boot pushes onto your stomach, knocking you back and making you stumble onto the floor. You're almost naked, completely defenceless. Konig does not stand. He simply sits and knocks the toe of his boot to your thigh and jerks his chin to the basket close to you. Meanwhile, your moans are still playing. The wet noises of skin slapping against skin, the mattress creaking and the headboard slamming on the wall. "Konig! That's way — That is way too loud!" He splits open your thighs with the same boot and you squeak as he applies pressure to your crotch. The icy coolness from the outside has you shivering as you clamp your thighs around his ankles but he simply presses. Your high-pitched moan elicits a chuckle from Konig. That motherfucker mimics your moan, his stoic face turning annoyingly expressive as he mocked yours. His giddiness is hard to contain. He turns the screen to you and keeps on echoing the noises you're making. "Oh, oh-oh! Oh fuck! Konig! Right there!"

"Point taken!" You plead, blindly reaching behind you to grab the silk dress. You hear the shuffle of feet in the changing room hallway, hushed whispers but Konig does not pause the video. He simply lets it play as you hurriedly slip on the outfit. What a sight you were.

On the floor, pathetically slipping on a raunchy outfit while your crotch was still being stepped on. The straps are falling off your shoulders and your flustered state does little to assist. Your hair is askew and your cheeks are warmer than the fucking sun. The video stops just as you reach your orgasm and Konig removes his boot. "Strip. Fully."

He tosses the phone on the floor and leans forward. His elbows are on his knees and he gazes down upon you like a hungry wolf. After an awkward shimmy, the only thing protecting you from the wooden floors of the changing room was the thin silk. Your cock was tenting the front and no amount of tugging the material down was going to help you. "I think I may have been gone for too long, yes? My slut is much too disobedient as of late and getting more and more perverse. You're so hard after letting everyone in the store hear how pathetic you are when you take my cock, have you no shame?" Konig clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth when you avert your gaze. When you meet eyes, he's unbuckling his belt with one hand. "Do you even deserve to see my cock?"

You shake your head. No, no, of course, you don't! You're just a whore, a perverted boy who belongs to be on the floor. Even the lingerie you wore was too modest for you. Konig could tell you were edging towards that cloudy state. His cheek twitches as he suppresses a knowing grin. "That's right. You don't. But I'm allowing you to" "Th-Thank you, Mein Konig" He spreads his legs and pats his inner thigh after he had unzipped and pulled his heavy cock out. You gulp at the sight of it. It was damn near monstrous — a cock a few people could only ever see in pornography. Crawling on all fours, you nuzzle his thigh as thanks before grabbing it by the base. God, it was so hefty. A delicious pink tip and a few delicate splatters of moles decorated Konig's cock. The mouthwatering veins were given kisses and yet Konig remains silent as he watches with rapt interest in how you worshipped his big dick. "Perk your ass out. More" You're confused as to what he intends to do. Perhaps he wanted to see your asshole winking back at him in the mirror while you suck him off? That seems likely. You spread your knees and arch your back as you suck on his tip, loosening your jaw and covering your teeth as you close your eyes. Konig removes his glove. It doesn't take long for you to start drooling. He swipes two fingers under his dick, around the ring of your mouth, then leans forward to slip them in. Your choked reply is ignored by Konig. It's hard to breathe. You can feel his fingers scissor your muscles open all while he envelops you in his scent, his warmth, his everything. You feel like he's consuming your every being. His cock is halfway in, your jaw is aching and anyone unlucky enough to walk into the changing area would most definitely hear you gagging on it. Your eyes are watering, huffing through your nose as you feel your hips jerk without any conscious thought behind it. He's fucking you open on his fingers and he knows where to aim to make you all but spineless. There's this distinct dick-shaped bump in your throat. Konig is silent. When he pulls out his fingers and cock you cough, cushioning your face on his thigh as you catch your breath. One of the straps is falling off your shoulder and the dress hangs off your chest in a whorish display thanks to your flat chest. Konig's breathing is faster than usual but he is wordless as he grabs your wet chin.

"Kuh...Konig — Ngh!" You're looking at your reflection. Legs as wobbly as a newborn fawn as he holds you up. The dress is bunched over the curve of your ass. You're jerked forward until you slam into the mirror. A pained whimper is replied with a harsh slap to the back of your thighs. He uses his boots again. This time to kick your ankles apart. The fingers on your chin force you to look forward as Konig's heavy cock is placed on your back.

His face places itself on the crook of your shoulder. Those dark eyes swallow the lights from the mirror as he takes pleasure from your melted expression. You still taste his precum on your tongue, jaws still slack and lungs still desperately trying to swallow air. His thumb on your hole can feel the way you clench around nothing and Konig finally breaks his silence. "You are so filthy" You don't deny him of this fact. His cock pushes on the tight ring of muscles and you moan, fogging up the glass as he pushes, pushes, and pushes until he's inside and oh fuck. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head. He fills you up so well. Every inch violated, comforted, by him. The pressure is so overwhelming but so familiar and you're getting on the tip of your toes to perk your ass out more. He watches the way your ass swallows inch after meaty inch. "Mein Süßer" [My sweet one] Konig groans into your ear. He's gripping onto your waist so tightly you know bruises will bloom and that thought alone makes you press your cheek on the mirror so you can look at him from over your shoulder. "Mein Konig, please...please, please, please" He's been far too mean and you're begging so sweetly. Konig thrusts in and out of you so harshly that your breath is being knocked out of you. He's kissing you, you're barely there to reciprocate. It's messy, it's hot, it's too much. His hand thumps onto the mirror and the lights flicker but neither of you cares. He's fucking into you so good you can't think. Konig is mouthing your neck, one hand on your waist while the other is groping everywhere, anywhere — as long as it was you. That's all that mattered to Konig. You're being far too loud. Both of you. There's no way no one knows what you're getting up to. Your breaths are fogging up the mirror and there's a ripping sound as Konig tugs on the strap too harshly. "Buh-Baby!" he shushes you. "I'll pay, fuck, I'll pay for anything you want, this boypussy is worth it. So fucking good, so tight " he snaps his hips into you and you choke out a cry at his name. "Fühlt sich gut an, nicht wahr?" [Feels good, doesn't it?] Your chest is now in full view and so Konig grabs at it, twisting your nipples harshly. You're sobbing, tossing your head back as plead for him to slow down. Tears are now streaming down your face, lashes clumping together as you groan out, hand prints being left on the smooth surface as you desperately attempt to grasp at anything to ground yourself. "So sehe ich Dich gerne". [I like seeing you this way.]

Konig grins wickedly. He knows you're close, he can feel it in the way you're tightening up around his cock. He's not that far behind and he was determined for the two of you to cum at the same time. Thankfully, Konig knows just what to do to push you over the edge. Not that it would take much. All that foreplay, that humiliation, already made you a stroke away from jizzing on the floor. His sharp canines sink into the juncture of your shoulder and neck and you yelp as you paint the floor and mirror with your cum. "Ah, fuck!" you tightened around him like a vice and Konig stills as he empties his balls into you. His thighs twitch and his hips jerk a few times as he pants to catch his breath. "Woah!" Konig holds you up, laughing breathlessly as he hugs you. Your head is lolling to the side so he gently leans your head back, stroking your neck and chest until you're able to sharpen your eyes back into focus. "Are you alright, Schatz?" he's flattening his palm on your chest to feel the way your heart thuds against your ribcage. You nod, gulping and panting as you try to form sentences. He's patient as he carefully maneuverers you to lean fully against him. "Fuck, why'd you have to cum in my ass" Konig snorts as he lets you peel away to brace yourself on the mirror. He would say sorry but he's not. The sight of his cum dripping out of your hole has his cock twitching all over again. While you're catching your breath he reaches for his phone. The sound of his camera going off makes you roll your eyes. He's always taking pictures or videos. Says it keeps him occupied when he misses you a bit too much while he's deployed. Who are you to deny your boyfriend his needs? Wordlessly, you jut your hips back and spread your ass for him. He thanks you. It was silent as you both clean up (as much as you could) and when everyone was dressed you try not to limp on your way out. The workers all avoid looking in your direction and you groan as you hide your face in Konig's side. He simply tosses an arm around your shoulder, feeling smug despite the bashful blush under his facemask. "We can never shop here again" you mutter "There are more shops" Konig comforts.

[beom-pyu]

touch tank ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ choi yeonjun

choi yeonjun x fem!reader , tags: idol x producer au , semi-secret relationship , fluff , nsfw , reader is stressed and bf yeonjunie comes to save the day :3 , soft soft soft

warnings: smut ( minors dni i beg) , service top yeonjun ?? , cunninglus (fem!receiving) , praise , slight slight hair pulling , reader calls yj baby a lot (and he loves it) , cumming untouched , sickeningly sweet fluff at the end

"he's so pretty when he goes down on me—gold-skinned eager baby, blue shirt out the laundry" ♫

wc: 1.7k+

“you know—when your phone rings with the name ‘yeonjun’ on the screen, it means i want to talk to you.”

yeonjun’s voice is immediately sulky and whiny as he enters your studio. you look up from your computer screen to see a takeout bag in his hands and the cutest pout on his lips.

you let out a small, pitiful sigh before removing your headphones and saving your project, reaching up to rub the exhaustion out of your eyes. “‘m sorry, baby. my phone was on silent—i need to finish this song by tomorrow.”

yeonjun sets the steamy plastic bag down on your desk, right by your computer, before he drops to his knees, nudging himself between your legs to rest his cheek on your thigh. you’ve reminded him multiple times that he can simply pull up a chair and sit next to you, but he swore that he felt more comfortable like this—and who are you to deny him when he looks up at you with the biggest, glittering eyes ever?

there is nothing you love more than the fact that yeonjun saves this side of himself only for you. the side where his walls completely come down and he turns into putty in your hands. he knows he’s safe with you, always.

your hand subconsciously finds its way into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. the weight of his body against your leg grounds you and you smile down at him with adoration in your eyes, his own bunching up into small crescent moons as he returns it. the only light in the room came from the pink warm-lighted lamp on your side table and the screen of your monitor.

“i miss you,” yeonjun utters with his cheek squished against your bare leg, that adorable pout still on his beautiful face. you laugh quietly as you stroke his hair, cocking your head to the side.

“but i’m right here?” you bring your fingers down to caress his cheek and yeonjun whines softly at your response. you can’t help but giggle at his reaction.

“i haven’t seen you all week,” he replies sadly, blinking up at you, his hand coming up to play with a loose string on your shorts.

your heart clenches at his words.

“i know, i know. i just have so many songs to write and all of these deadlines are so close together and—” you stop yourself mid-sentence to sigh, already feeling the stress creep back into your body. you’ve slept on your studio couch too many times this past month, skipped too many meals, and missed too many calls.

being a great producer comes at a price, and that price was starting to take a toll on your relationship. you feel incredibly guilty for not making enough time to see your boyfriend in between his already busy schedule; the most you’ve spoken to him this week had been a quick phone call before his concert to let him know you were cheering him on.

yeonjun can see you getting lost in your head, pawing gently at your shin to bring you back to him. your eyebrows are furrowed as you find his gaze, his eyes filled with concern and worry—it all just makes you feel even worse. he has enough on his plate, and now here you are, adding another burden to his life.

he lifts his head from your leg to fully look at you, his hands resting atop your thighs. “when was the last time you took a break, my love?”

you blink at him, your eyes drifting to your monitor to see the time. 10:24 p.m.

“i went home to take a shower and nap at 8.”

“today?”

you nibble on your lip nervously. “yesterday.”

yeonjun’s eyes widen and you prepare yourself for your weekly lecture—but instead, he huffs in disappointment, the pout returning to his lips.

“i’m sure you already know what i’m going to say,” yeonjun starts, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. “so let me just help you out instead. please?”

you look at him quizzically, unsure of what he means until his hands creep up to your shorts. this isn’t the first time yeonjun has offered to eat you out while you work, and you can never find it in your heart to tell him no. not when his tongue swipes over his pink lips, scooting closer so his face is right above your core, looking up at you so desperately as he waits for your approval.

you nod in confirmation before your hand tangles into his hair again, watching as he smiles up at you from in between your legs, looking so perfect and wonderful and lovely. he kisses the inside of your knee, nipping and biting his way up your thighs. you hiss slightly at a particularly hard bite, pulling his head up by his hair to meet his eyes.

“don’t leave any marks, okay?” yeonjun nods quickly in obedience before he continues his ministrations, only just barely grazing your soft skin with his teeth.

“i love you,” he mumbles as he squeezes your thighs, obsessed with how they squish and bounce under his hands. you let out a small breath, tilting your head back against your desk chair.

“i love you, baby. now, get me out of these shorts please.” you can already feel your heat pulsing in impatience as yeonjun takes his sweet time leaving a few more kisses on your skin. sometimes you believe this was more for yeonjun’s pleasure than yours with the way he takes his time worshiping every part of you, breathing growing heavy before he can even taste you. it’s absolutely adorable.

yeonjun doesn’t tease you for too long though, looping his fingers into the waistband of your shorts before he slowly pulls them down your legs, tossing them aside. he pulls your chair closer until you can feel his steady breath against your glistening folds. he drags his middle finger up your slit, collecting your juices before he looks up at you with the biggest doe eyes, slowly bringing his finger to his lips with a quiet moan. the sight alone makes your stomach flip, observing him through hooded eyes.

“hurry, please, jun.”

yeonjun wastes no more time before he grabs your hips, tilting your lower half upwards so he can lick a stripe up your pussy, your hips bucking at the sensation. his thumbs rub comforting circles into your skin as he leaves a few butterfly kisses over your folds before attaching his lips to your clit, jolts of pleasure running through your body at the sudden action.

pulses shoot up your spine as he sucks on your clit harshly, pulling off to kitten lick your swollen bud before circling it with his tongue. your jaw falls slack as soft moans leave your lips, your hand lazily carding through his now messy hair.

“so good for me, jun, fuck,” you manage to breathe and you can feel yeonjun smile against your core at the words. you slowly move your hips against his tongue, your leaking entrance leaving his chin and nose all wet. his cheeks are flushed pink as he pants against your pussy, obscene slurping noises filling the soundproofed room of your studio.

your hands grip tightly onto the strands of his hair as his tongue fucks you, his lower half rutting up into nothing as his erection presses up against his jeans just right. his finger—oh god, his fingers—prod at your entrance before he easily slips them in, your pussy gushing as he gently curls them upwards. your hips speed up, babbling out praise towards yeonjun as you full-on ride his face into oblivion. your mind is cloudy once he sucks on your clit again, pumping his fingers in and out.

you tense around him as it all gets to be too much, squeezing your eyes shut at the intense waves of pleasure rushing through you.

“‘m cumming, baby, fuck, fuck.” your voice is pitched up as you near your high, yeonjun moaning against your pussy like it were his last meal.

the vibrations mixed with his tongue pressed flatly against your clit send your over the edge, your back arching up off of the chair as you cry out. his strong arms hold you up as you rub your release all over his face, your hips moving frantically to milk out your bliss for as long as possible.

you eventually come back to your senses, your entire body spent as you slump against the chair, chest rising and falling heavily as you try to catch your breath. there’s a faint ringing in your ears and you feel like you’re dreaming. you blink your eyes open to see yeonjun staring at your spent expression like you’ve hung the stars and the moon and you conclude that you are indeed dreaming.

the collar of his shirt is damp as his chin drips with your cum, his lips puffy and swollen. his hair is a rat’s nest and you giggle slightly at the damage you’ve caused, a small smile creeping onto yeonjun’s face from yours alone.

“my baby, you did so well for me,” you praise him, hands reaching down to cup his cheeks as you press a few small kisses onto his wet lips. “made me feel so good.”

yeonjun chases your lips as you pull away and your heart bursts with fondness. he is so perfect—you don’t know how you ended up so lucky. your eyes seem to drift down to his lap, your smile growing wider as you see the soaked patch that bled through the front of his jeans.

“you came just from eating me out?” you ask incredulously, yeonjun whining a bit at your teasing tone, leaning down to nuzzle his face against your thigh. naturally, your hand finds its way back to his messy hair.

“you taste so good. couldn’t help it,” he mutters almost bashfully, blinking up at you with his long eyelashes. so perfect. “do you feel better now? did i help?”

“i feel so much better, baby,” you stroke his hair and he sighs contently as his eyes flutter shut, basking in your warmth and touch for a moment before his eyes open again. he pats around for your shorts, smiling triumphantly once he finds them.

“so you don’t get cold.”

you giggle under your breath at the small action, thanking him quietly as pulls your shorts up your legs, leaving small tiny kisses behind.

from now on, you are definitely going to make sure you spend more time with your boyfriend. music can wait.

reblogs are highly cherished!

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[drama-glob]

SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 2 EPISODE 7!!!!

Let me start off by saying F*CK YOU MAMMON!!!! >:( >:( >:(

Okay now, I LOVED THIS EPISODE because as much at it broke my heart with how much of a gut punch it was that Fizz has been putting up with Mammon for years, the fact that he got his freedom at the end with the constant support of Blitz and Ozzie, who genuinely care about him melted my heart as well. ^_^

I knew going in I was going to hate Mammon (because with how he runs his ring, I couldn't see how he could have any redeeming qualities), but he seriously was a bigger abusive d*ck and was way more blatant about than I expected. >:( Poor Fizz right off the bat with his unhealthy work ethic that he's not good enough and that his value is tied into his work, something that many of us (me included) have been guilty of. I blame Cash for being the most likely factor in why Fizz thinks that way, along with his idol worship of Mammon playing into it. >:( Also, that creep getting in Fizz's head was so messed up because we come to see how genuinely nice Fizz is and he sadly let what that guy said get into his head. ;_;

I'm so glad that Ozzie from the start is looking out for Fizz's well being and mental health, which is also really sad because he has no doubt had this conversation many times with Fizz about not needing to please Mammon and that he is good enough, only for Fizz to insist everything's fine when it's not. ;_; I also had a feeling Ozzie wouldn't be a fan of the Robo Fizzes given that he loves Fizz so much and knows what people use them for, so most likely it's part of the whole blackmail deal/Ozzie can't break out of making them so long as Fizz doesn't call it quits. ;_; I'm also happy that Ozzie clearly harbors no ill-will towards Blitz (which we already saw in "Oops," but it's nice that he knows Blitz wouldn't like the state Fizz is in and needs to cut ties with Mammon). :)

Fizz is just so talented with his craft, but the further pressure that he had actual competition from Glitz and Glam just made things so much worse, but of course Mammon don't care. >:( One of the absolute best moments though had to be the sweet little deaf kid signing to Fizz and Fizz signing back as well as sign his picture, so it was sweet and it helped Fizz's mental state temporarily. It was unfortunate that flipping creep came back and messed with Fizz once again, only adding to Fizz's panic attack that goes into overdrive once he sees Glitz and Glam perform. ;_;

My sadness only built as Fizz spiraled and tried to make himself "fine," but my man Ozzie being there as soon as he hears (from Blitz no doubt) that Fizz is not okay and him not leaving until he can get to the bottom of way Fizz is so adamant about doing this while trying to comfort him was wonderful. I legit cried, as I'm sure many of you did, when poor Fizz admits that he feels like practically nothing next to Ozzie and that without his job and the fame, he'd eventually leave Fizz despite how many years they've known each other and how much Ozzie does to remind Fizz that he loves him for who he is. ;_; ;_; ;_; It's sad too that Fizz has put up with the year of abuse because he felt he owed Mammon for leading him Ozzie, even though that's certainly not true. It really brought it in home just how much trauma Fizz has suffered and affected his mental state. I can only imagine how bad it'd be if he really didn't have Ozzie in his life. O_O The sweet, honest words from Ozzie afterward just reinforced my belief that Ozzie is the best boyfriend and their song "Crooked" was so saturated with lovey-dovey sentiment, I went awwww so many times and shows how lucky they are to have each other. ^_^<3<3<3

Fizz's "2-Minutes Notice" was absolutely incredible, (especially considering this was improv ;) ) and the fact Mammon didn't realize it was about him until the end was hilarious! XD But Fizz certainly proved how amazing he is and I'm sure Ozzie was more than happy to provide the magical backup to really stick it to Mammon. ;) ^_^ <3 It was really cool getting to see full demon Mammon and Ozzie, but it was especially amazing that Ozzie announced he loved Fizz to everyone so that he could no longer be blackmailed by Mammon and so Fizz could be free of that asshole; plus, he already seemed tired of hiding it. ^_^<3<3<3 Although Mammon will definitely come back for revenge on this sweet couple, Fizz and Ozzie get to at least have their peace for now and will face the future of their relationship being outed to all of Hell together. Also, those giant nuzzles from Ozzie are everything to me! ^_^<3<3<3<3<3

[elsweetheart]

hey bb it me 😽

i think seeing dealer!ellie react to her gf unknowingly getting into a batch of weed brownies she made would be a fun prompt for u to write also i think she would b so sweet n take care of her heheheeheh

hi frankie pankie 🌸

here it is!!! srry it’s a little short :(

bad batch.

🎀 tw: weed, getting too high, general discomfort idk

you were a simple girl, you saw brownies— you ate them.

ellie was having a boring day, she had been catching up on a shit load of work that she was late in handing in having spent the weekend partying (for business purposes, of course.) and all she wanted to do was come home to her sweet girlfriend who she had told to let herself into her dorm. she opened the door to her room, stopping in her tracks when she saw you clearing off a brownie she had left in a tupperware box on her desk.

“oh shit.”

you turned to her with a smile, happy that she was back and screwing your nose up slightly. “ellie no offence but these brownies suck, like they taste weird.” you giggled slightly, tracking her with your eyes as she dropped her bag in the doorway with her mouth agape, walking over to the desk.

“babe, how many did you have?” she asked urgently and your smile dropped, wondering if she was saving it for herself and you’d been greedy. “just this one…”

“okay, um, so that’s an edible— babe. i would have given you like… maybe a quarter of that.” she edged herself down on the bed. right now was crucial, she knew it was gonna hit you hard and panicking you was gonna make things so much worse, so she had to be calm.

“what?” your eyes widened, and she wasn’t sure if it were the lighting but for a moment she swore your skin turned two shades paler like it would in the dead of winter. “no, no— ellie i don’t wanna—” she sensed your panic and she came over to where you sat, kneeling in front of you.

“hey, s’gonna be fine. we’re gonna get you some food, gonna put on a funny movie, we’re just gonna chill. it’s only scary if you’re scared, you know.” she smiled, her thumbs wiping over your knuckles. you let out a nervous breath, nodding. “‘kay, ellie.”

it had been 45 minutes and there’d been nothing. you were starting to think ellie’s supplier had given her fakes, leaning against her as the two of you giggled at the stupid scene in the disney movie. it appeared that ellie stopped giggling, but you were still going. everything became funny, and soon you were clutching her laughing.

“alright now loser, wasn’t that funny.” she chuckled back, before her eyes widened slightly realising that it was hitting you. “oh. okay.”

she leant across from you for her water bottle, uncapping it for you as you continued cackling against her. “hey, look what i got. waaater.” she whispered, as if it were the most important and expensive item in the world. you looked up at her finally in the low light, eyes blows out and glossy and your mouth made a small ‘o’ shape, entranced. “water.” you repeat and she nodded, bringing it towards your lips. “sip, do not chug it you hear me?” she commanded light heartedly and you did, taking minuscule sips. “atta girl.”

it was fine, you felt a normal amount of high for a while — but it seemed to continue to climb. the disney song playing out on the screen had seemed to be on a loop for an hour — a manic blur of bright colours and happy faces. ellie watched you from the side, feeling a little guilty at how amused she was at your engagement. “s’the movie good, baby?” she suppressed her chuckle. you slowly dragged your eyes away from the screen, reaction delayed and stared up at ellie.

“everything is… moving so much.” you closed your eyes, brows creasing as you lay against her.

“you feelin’ okay, bug?” she sounded sympathetic this time.

“j’s wanna be normal now.” you moaned into her, feeling a little motion sickness from her swaying her so slightly.

“i know, babe. you will be normal soon. well, as normal as you can be.” she added in a playful smirk, trying to lighten the mood. you didn’t find it funny however, so she distracted from the moment. “how’d you feel about pizza right now?”

[outro-jo]

Stray Kids when he can’t have you

pairing: skz x reader (gender neutral) x reader’s partner (they/them pronouns)

type: scenario

summary: he’s your best friend and he can’t have more

warning: angst, unrequited love, talks about crying, mentions of abuse 

song inspo: here

a/n: please read info before requesting 🤍

masterlist | info 

—————————

chan- it absolutely kills him. he doesn’t know what hurts worse, seeing you in those moments when you’re hopelessly in love with them… or when you’re hurt by them. he’s the one you go to crying after arguments. he holds you while you cry over them and his heart shatters. he tries to offer the best advice he can that benefits you the best. he thinks of himself last. a lot of good songs come out of it but he tries to tell you that someone else wrote them. 

minho- he distances himself emotionally. you could be sitting right next to him but he feels like a million miles away. his smile doesn’t have the warmth it used to. you feel guilty and you don’t even know what for. your partner starts getting suspicious of him so they ask you to stop hanging out with him. he doesn’t let anyone see but he spends so many nights missing you and crying. when around others, he’s closed off and stoic. the boys keep trying to love and encourage him but it’s hard. it’s like talking to a brick wall. 

changbin- he knows he could love you better and it enrages him. but he’ll put on a smile and act like he always does but those closest to him can see it in the way he clenched his fists and jaw when you’re not looking. he hates the way your partner talks to you but he sees the way your eyes light up and he doesn’t have the heart to say anything to you. he has to take up boxing with chan to work through it.

hyunjin- a small piece of him dies inside when he sees how you are around your partner. when they make you smile or laugh, the twinkle in your eyes. he used to be the one to do that to you—that was his job. the stars in your eyes seem to blind you from the red flags popping up. he’s worried that if he says something he’ll lose you altogether and he can’t bear that. he misses the way things were before. he dreams about you more often and his notebook is full of drawings of you that no one else will see.

jisung- also hides behind a smile. with all the hiding he has to do, his anxiety gets worse. how can he keep this up around you? what if he messes up and says something? it would ruin everything, he thinks. he tried to pretend that everything was normal for you. you seem so happy with them. eventually he starts getting busier. he’s not really but that’s what he tells you. he allows time and distance to heal things… for him.

felix- will always think of you first. he seems genuinely happy when you go on your first date and when he meets them for the first time but as soon as the two of you leave, he’s sobbing in chan’s arms. he never listens  to chan’s advice to tell you because he can’t risk your friendship. as awful as this feels, he knows it feels worse to not have you in his life at all. he keeps lying to himself that he’ll move on and get over it.

seungmin- he’s unsure about this new person at first but you just chock it up to him being protective of you as your best friend. then the flags start getting redder and he can’t hold back any more. the concerned conversation turns into a screaming match and you decide if he can’t be happy for you and supportive then you don’t need him. that is until you’re on his door step, teary eyed and bruised.

jeongin- keeps quiet even to the boys. if this is what you want then he’ll support you. it kills him inside but he doesn’t dare let it out. he knows once it starts he’ll break down and have to confess so he holds it in. it’s a ticking time bomb especially when he sees the way they’re treating you.

[everydayiinchclosertobeingaworm]

Maybe small spoilers for Nerdy Prudes Must Die

I think the song ‘nerdy prudes must die’ has so many layers so I’m going to discuss it.

I think Max took his death much more personally than he let on. Even during the song he says “I could give to sh*ts that you buried and left me, defiled my body… you pushed me off the edge.” Listen I’m no English and psych major but the intense detail he puts into describing what happened to him shows that it stuck with him. He also lets on right before his death that he’s not just some jock monster, saying things like “this is the nicest thing any one’s ever done for me”. Then almost immediately after this supposed act of kindness he practically gets killed. And yes while it may have been an accident, they still covered it up, they chopped him up and hid him away like they were guilty, like they had something to hide.

Okay now let’s talk about THAT part of the song (you know the one). He tells Richie to repeat after him. He has him fully under his control. He’s listening, he has to. The first “will you pray for me” is taunting Richie. Taunting him of his inevitable death. But the second feels much more emotional, especially given Richie isn’t repeating him and he seems to have no problem with that. He sings “who will pray for me, when I’m gone” but like I previously stated he’s talking about himself this time. It must have hurt to die and then have nobody care. Nobody missed him. He may have been a ‘monster’ at high school but in reality, he was just a kid who had never really been shown actual kindness (i.e. “this is the nicest thing anyone ever done for me”). Then the “or is this the eternal dark without a dawn” (exceptional delivery btw, my god). Like, is this all he’ll be? Will he forever be fermented as the asshole jock who died at the old Waylon place? After he kills these nerdy prudes will he be satisfied? You get what I mean right? I feel after that he remembers the cause of his death, and he fills back up with rage, turning back to Richie and asking him one more time, now notably saying “who will pray for you”. But then gesturing back to himself as he says “when your body’s gone”, reminding Richie what he did to him. And I’ve heard some people say the “this is the consequence for what you’ve done” line is about Richie gaining popularity, not about ‘killing’ max, but I think that by this point max is enraged with Richie, with what he’s done to him, so he genuinely means, ‘this is the consequence you get for what you’ve done to me’. Which makes it even worse when Richie tries to come back saying “I am not a loser” (BEST line) because who does this kid think he is? This kid killed him, and now he’s trying to tell him how it is?

Anyway thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😋

[mouwrites]

This is my first time requesting something but can I request a song name "out of my league" by "Fitz and the tantrum", it's lloyd x f reader,it's ok if you don't want to!

Also congrats on 400 followers!

Thank you!! Sorry this one came out a little shorter, I thought the ending was perfect and didn't want to spoil it hehe,,

Word count: 836

Ninjago - Out of My League (Lloyd) (400 follower event)

The view really was beautiful. Way up in the mountains overlooking Ninjago City, the streetlights looked like little stars, and none of that obtrusive noise could be heard. Only the sound of rustling wind and gentle breathing filled the chilled night air. 

Lloyd stood bent over a railing on the lookout point, half-reclining against it with his elbows planted on the top. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to appreciate the peace of this quiet place. It was always nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of being the Green Ninja, and this was one of his favorite spots to do so.

“Hey.”

Lloyd nearly jumped out of his skin, his elbows slipping from the rail and causing him to faceplant into the railing.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” 

And suddenly there you were, at his side, face twisted with concern. 

Lloyd instantly forgot the pain in his face when he saw that it was you, and the sting immediately shifted to his pride. Of all people to do that in front of, why did it have to be you?

“Y/n!” He yelped, cringing at the high pitch of his voice. “What are… what are you doing here?”

You smiled softly, looking out over the city. “Same thing as you, I think.”

The look you gave him prompted him to speak, but Lloyd fumbled with his words. Maybe it was because you were so drop-dead gorgeous, or maybe it was the irresistible way you carried yourself… whatever it was, it had Lloyd hooked on you worse than sugar from the first meeting.

“I… just… enjoying the view, heh. You know.”

You giggled, turning your back to the city and leaning on the railing. Lloyd mimicked you.

“I’m glad that it’s you I ran into up here.”

Lloyd suddenly felt guilty at thinking the exact opposite a moment ago, but the guilt was immediately overshadowed by disbelief.

“Me? You’re glad to see me?” He pointed to himself, looking around to make sure that he was the only “you” you could be referring to.

“Yes, you, Lloyd,” you smiled, cocking your head amusedly. “I’m glad to see you. I feel like this is something that not many people can really appreciate.”

Lloyd’s shoulders relaxed a little as he looked around. “Yeah. The quiet, the isolation, the view…”

“I knew you’d get it.”

Lloyd turned to you with a little smile, accompanied with darkening cheeks when he saw the way you were looking at him. Was that… affection in your eyes? Surely not, he told himself. His brows furrowed as he reminded himself that you were way out of his league, and there was no way you could feel anything for him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Well,” Lloyd looked away bashfully, wondering if he should actually voice what he was feeling. “Maybe not nothing. Whenever I see you, I’m just so enchanted. You’re wonderful, Y/n.”

“Lloyd…”

“I know, I know. You’re way too wonderful for someone like me. I get that. But sometimes I just wish…” He broke off with a single, sad “hah.”

His head drooped, and he shook it slowly back and forth. “I wish I was…”

“Lloyd,” you said again, more firmly this time. Lloyd looked up at you, surprised to see an amused grin on your face.

“Look at you, talking like that. Saying the same things I’ve been thinking since the moment I met you!”

Lloyd’s eyes went owlish, and he blinked a few times before shaking his head in disbelief. “Wha—you—me? But I’m not—”

“Lloyd, you’re the wonderful one! You’re literally the Green Ninja, and handsome and charming besides!” Your cheeks reddened at your words, a clear sign that you were shy to admit it, but you meant what you said.

Lloyd closed his eyes, shaking his head yet again. He put a hand to his temple, rubbing it as if suddenly fighting a headache brought on by confusion, or disbelief. “Hang on. Let me get this straight. You think I’m wonderful.”

“I do. And you think I’m wonderful, too,” you breathed, your heart soaring as your own words met your ears.

Lloyd was still clearly struggling to grasp the situation, and he was about to say something again but you silenced him with a kiss.

He stiffened at first, surprised. But soon he was melting into your touch, wrapping his arms around you to hold you closer.

When you parted, you just stared at each other, eyes reflecting starry amazement.

“Y/n,” Lloyd whispered, afraid to speak any louder with your incredibly close proximity. “I love you.”

You threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder with overwhelming glee. “I love you too.”

Lloyd laughed, lifting you by the waist and twirling you around once. “I’m wonderful, you’re wonderful—this is…!”

“Wonderful!” You finished, laughing now too. “I think wonderful people belong together.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Lloyd set you down, pulled you away from your shoulder and into another sweet kiss.

Thanks so much for taking part in our event! And thank you for reading, take care doves <33

(divider by saradika)

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 Musings - Loumand

Last post, I promise; I needed another nap; this ep's a freaking rollercoaster. And these two queens nearly gave me a stress ulcer!

DEBATABLE, Louis. I can think of FAR worse vamps than you, love.

Why're y'all having this whole conversation where anyone can hear?

They got Sartre's wall-eyes down; good makeup this season, team! 👌

DreamStat's a Loumand bed-death truther, jfc. 😭

I wanna know EXACTLY what Armand sees--or "feels"--whenever DreamStat pops up in Lou's head. Cuz he clearly knows precisely where Les is; he looks right in his direction. But does he HEAR Les too? (God I hope not, this song would've had me SEETHING--Back to Hell with you! 😅)

"Oh dear" indeed; I was HOLLERING.

SAM WAS DEVOURING THIS SCENE HOLY GOD GO AWAY DEMON

Armand looked PISSED, I was scared for Louis' life! And he DOES know, actually, yes Lou. I can almost GUARANTEE that he knows PRECISELY where Lestat is AT THIS VERY MOMENT, yes Lou.

If only you knew.... 😬

Claudia's suffered more than Christ. And nice cut to Daniel sneaking around with Raglan James as Armand talks about Furies punishing "human wrongdoing." It's really interesting that Armand told the lawyer that LOUIS is the owner of the paintings. Is he the owner of the penthouse too? HOW MANY DEEDS DOES HE HAVE, ROLIN?

I wonder what AMC might be saying about Loumand's art collection, not just wrt what we know about art heist!Armand (which we'll likely see a nod to in Ep4 at the Louvre); but also wrt what we know about Dubai's godawful neocapitalist hellscape economy, and Loumand's "moralizing" about Parisian black markets in S01E02.

I wonder if that's the excuse Armand'll give the coven when Louis shows up for dinner in Ep4--very much NOT dead; and rips out Santiago's tongue.

WILD voice-over, cuz you KNOW that's what Santiago was thinking, too, LOL. (You wish, Francis.) But yes: Louis' finna end your whole career. XD

Another TERRIFYING jumpscare from the coven, like in Ep2 with Annika. Louis, I am shocked & appalled--can you not HEAR all these vamps planning your bloody murder around you? CLAUDIA! WTF!?

But this is how you know Armand's true personality--he hates getting his hands dirty. He kills all the time, but he makes his victims' deaths pretty. He'd rather sit back & let Lestat/Louis come in and wreck his whole coven, even though he has the power to just light those mofos up all on his own! I wish AMC emphasized a bit more that Armand not only writes/directs the plays--he's an ACTOR, too. And istg he's an expert at PRETENDING to be helpless, meanwhile he's the strongest vamp that's NOT one of the Children of the Millennia (thanks to how well Marius made him).

Armand, that is LOW; waiting until Claudia's stuck under the oaths b4 you tell her she's guilty of breaking Great Laws she doesn't even know about yet. WTF?

How TF you gon' hold Louis accountable for following the Laws when he wasn't even allowed to be in the effing room when they were read!? He's not even a member! WTF! (I get it--any rogue vampires are subject to death, yadayada; we know it's a stupid policy.)

I love how he plans to leave by himself here--it had nothing to do with picking "another one" over Claudia. He just didn't want to hold her back anymore. And his presence was causing problems. 😭 It's so cute that Louis' stipulation about London was that if it's "too large" he'd leave and go to Ireland (?!?)--he's become agoraphobic or something? He just wants to be alone in his hermit hole--MOOD. 😭

Good to get confirmation that the Fire Gift here is Armand and blessedly NOT Santiago--so why's he zooming around in the sewers?

Look, sometimes folks make terrible first impressions--Lestat was being hella racist, Louis' always playing defense, Armand was finna kill Louis in a gay public park. It happens.

Foreshadowing like crazy, as usual.

WILD thing to say. I'm gonna cry, please stop.

(What kinda hypocrisy is that, when you were made young your dang self!?) She's already 30+ years old--maybe she'll last a little longer if y'all (read: sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, etc society) don't eff around tryna make her life even harder! But AMC's deliberately cutting Claudia's life in half, compared to the books, cuz misogynoir's real and Claudia gets NOTHING out of vampirism, not even a fair chance. And y'all let her into the coven KNOWING how much she loves y'all, and KNOWING y'all were gonna kill her. EFF THIS WHOLE COVEN, ARMAND INCLUDED. (Lemme calm down--this kind of betrayal is exactly how Lestat must've felt in S01E07; I get it; they're getting a taste of their own medicine. But LESTAT EFFING HAD IT COMING. The coven should've just told them: y'all got til sunrise to GTFO our territory, you're not welcome here. This whole bit's unnecessary.)

THE PARALLELS ARE PARALLELING

SKILL ISSUE. Cuz Louis' got the least power, and he's finna clear that whole bish out in just a couple episodes. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Louis, love, ARMAND DON'T GIVE A EFF ABOUT RAISING SOME OTHER MAN'S OFFSPRING. This is the call of the wild, as Alphas KILL the children their stolen Omega brides had for other Alphas/Betas, so he can restart the gene pool with HIS DNA instead. I know y'all had National Geographic back then already--READ A BOOK, Louis, it's what you're best at.

Incredible. After all of that Louis said Lestat never broke him. BENT BUT NEVER BROKEN, that's right! 💪😤

Boy, we're not talking about some little (unrequited) CRUSH over a man you only knew for a few months (which you've CLEARLY not gotten over yet). Louis was MARRIED to the man for 30 YEARS. This is his MAKER. Lestat knew his whole family; went to the Black cookouts and everything! They literally built a home AND business together! They raised a child together! WHATCHU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?

And that's LESTAT'S DAUGHTER TOO--how much can you possibly love EITHER of them while planning to knock her off!? I can't listen to too much more of this. *hands Louis the torch and scythe*

Beautiful end of this STACKED episode. Incredible work, AMC! Jacob acted his PANTS off; he excels at the trembling voice, agonized facial expressions, and utter mental breakdowns. He's pulling DEEP within him, holy god; it's so raw, it's almost hard to watch. EMMY WHEN?!

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Park Jimin's Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: Just putting this first, just a Tarot reader. I do not know him personally, just saying this, because this was a bit intense and dark. Now that we have that out the way. On to the reading.

Okay, since it is still Libra season. I thought I do another Libra idol on my radar. That will be BTS Park Jimin. The song that came to mind was Exceptional by Jojo with the lyric, 'Your exceptional they way you are don't need to change for nobody, anyone can see that, when will you believe that.' I just felt that fit him, because sometimes he can be insecure about himself and unsure. He may not always see the true beauty in himself. I can see that with a lot of people though. Adored by so many but misunderstood. Not sure why they came up, but maybe once I dive into the cards that will. Looking at his chart he has lots of air and water placements in his strongest placements, so it may be hard for him to stay grounded in reality. Let's dive into the cards. I am being pulled towards the shadow decks first, so here we go. I hope this isn't as intense as I think it will be.

It seems like there were a lot of sacrifices he had to make to make his dreams come true. There is a sense from these cards that he isn't really grounded in reality, which as I mentioned his chart makes that clear. But he kind of gets lost in his own reality. It seems he may have had to sacrifice himself. I am getting he falls for lies, not sure where that is coming from. There is a pattern here with him. He may use escapism to remove himself from his reality at times. He may enjoy when he goes to sleep, because then is when he may feel free. I am kind of getting he is chained and restricted. Man, I knew this would be dark and intense. There is shame he does have, maybe for things he has done, could be for fame, or just past mistakes, or the addictive patterns he may have. He just understands there are sacrifices to be made in the game. There are also defenses he has, like he is protected of what he has or has earned. I see him trying to do things to forget himself, or he loses himself to the game or to others, like he gets lost in the shuffle, or it is hard for him to be himself. So far, all Libra idols have giving me this energy, so not surprised with this one. When I see the card Forgetting himself in this deck, it is like he does not put himself first or even second, like what he wants is not important really.

There is like a sense of him being split, like these two cards which are the only two cards in the deck, are split. He may dissociate to relieve his anxiety. Not sure what he uses to dissociate. I am literally reading the cards here, I see it as to relieve anxiety, he needs to reverse dissociation. Like it may make things worse for him to do so. This is hard to understand this. I keep seeing the number 10 in the cards, well 2 and 8, which gives me there is an end of cycle he has the key to that can close this cycle, but like one part of him has the key, the other the lock to open it, this is weird, but that is what I see in the cards. I knew this would be complex. There is a sense he could be fragmented as well, surprised that card did not pop up in the Dark Mirror reading. His energy is weird to, because although these cards are intense for me, his energy is numb, like I feel nothing. Interesting, but weird. I will move on from this, because it is weird. Next deck.

Okay, another card talking about shame, not sure where the shame is here with him, but it is there. It could do with addictive patterns he may have allegedly. Maybe he feels shame more easily than others. Or he feels guilty about things he has done in general. It is like he picks at himself for every little thing he does. There is a sense he is a bit stagnant and does not work towards his future and can get stuck in the past a lot. He is giving me Pisces energy here of this inability to let go, forgive his mistakes and move forward to become a better version of himself. That mistakes don't just break him but can also make him. It is not all end all. There is some strong guidance for him to meditate, take a deep breaths and work towards healing himself. It will need for him to be more mindful and ground himself a bit more and learn to be one with himself and feel comfortable with himself. I feel that could be a struggle for him, but necessary for him to heal.

For him to find complete happiness and his happily ever after. He needs to find self-love and compassion for himself. I am not sure if he wants a family some day or to find that happy unit. There is a gateway or maybe someone in his life he can find love with, but I am not sure he allows it, but it may all stem from his lack of love for himself. He should come from a place of love. Yeah, getting some strong indications here that he needs to bring more love into his heart and life for himself first and that can bleed into others. He is going to need to work on grounding himself and taking care of his fundamental needs first. He may need to start putting his needs first.

It is like he reflects back what you project onto him. There could be a distorted view of himself. There is a sweet, tenderness to Jimin, a softness, kind of princess like vibe. There is a youthfulness and vivaciousness to him. There is an eloquence to his nature and feminine nature to him. I am also getting he can be pretty vulnerable, that could be to manipulation. I think I got in the beginning that he can deluded into a fantasy that doesn't exist. I don't know where I am going there, but that is what I am getting. There is a void he does have, an emptiness that he isn't sure how to fill. I just feel like he doesn't know himself. He may need others to fill him, but not sure what to do or who he is on his own. He likes his community of people and depends on others a lot and prefers to do so. There is a fear of him being out on his own. It is the unknown is very scary to him. He may not know how to stand on his own, because he may lack self-awareness and love. It is like who is he without the influence of others.

So, looking at these cards, had no clue why I was pulled to this deck, but now I see why. As I mentioned he is kind of split. One card is the Sun and the other card is the moon, sunrise and sunset. He has a light and dark side, two sides to himself. The one card has the keyword shapeshifter. It is like he is different around different people. I mean we kind of all are to be honest, like why is this mentioned, is his extreme in some case? I am getting he projects what people think he is, so if someone sees him a certain way. He will be that certain way. Like why express these two sides and split sides? There are things he is aware of, but some he is not. I am just getting he may not know who he is, which makes sense. I feel a lot of these idols don't know who they are, but in his case, it may be a big deal. I am also getting he is impressionable and easy to mold. These cards are giving me he is forever changing, which can be good, but there is a sense of maybe a lack of identity with him, a solid foundation, a core. I just get there is no solid sense of self for him. When I see these two cards with the keywords flowing river and shapeshifter, I get easy to penetrate and manipulate. I kind of don't like this for him. I hope this boy isn't getting manipulated, but this sure kind of how feels like it.

Closing out with some my Tarot cards. Interesting to see pentacles pop up for his ready. I am not sure why he got the 9 of Pentacles. These gives me someone just chilling and indulging, enjoying their money that they earned, but he is in the Military, so this is weird. I am not sure this describes his personality. He doesn't come off as an independent, money loving person, who prefers his solitude. He may be coming into this energy lately possibly, maybe the Military has taught him to be this way, okay now with the 7 of Swords, with the keywords hiding myself, manipulation, and not able to be oneself, maybe this is in image he projects to make himself appear confident. Because 9 of Pentacles is all about appearance and appearing a certain way. He is someone who does thrive on working with others. It is where he performs best. This could also indicate his energy right now in the Military where collaborative effort is important or he feels it is important for them to work as a team.

Okay, those last card were quite different from the whole spread. This was a quite intense in the beginning. Glad it ended in a less intense way. I do still find it weird that the cards are intense, but I felt nothing energetically. I don't mind it, since I hate getting the sensations, like with Soobin's, but worries me a bit, it is like there may be some sort of disconnection there. Not sure how I can explain that further.

[munson-blurbs]

Chapter 3: All This Time Goes By, Still No Reason Why

Collaboration with my Eddie Munson sister wife, @corroded-hellfire 💚

Series Summary: Based on the Jonas Brothers song of the same name. You and Eddie share a hospital room in the wake of Hawkins' turmoil, striking up an unlikely friendship that could lead to much more.

Chapter Summary: With the help of Robin and Nancy, you and Eddie realize how much you mean to each other, but a medical emergency may prevent either of you from admitting your true feelings.

Warnings: eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI!), Eddie survives the Upside Down, hospital, mentions of surgery, description of Eddie's scars, controlled use of pain medication, angst

WC: 5.2k

Divider credit to @firefly-graphics

“It’s time to play the Family Feud!”

Click.

“Today on Sally–”

Click.

“There’s nothing good on,” you bemoan, flicking through the channels absentmindedly. Just as you’re about to give up on finding something to watch, a familiar dramatic voice rings out from the tinny TV speaker.

“It’s twins, and the two of you are the father of one each.”

Your fingers falter on the remote as you hear the events play out. Shelby’s sitting in a hospital bed, not unlike your own, one baby in each arm. The plot is so ridiculous, yet you can’t help but be drawn in. The only thing missing is a bucket of popcorn for you to chow down on.

And Eddie, you think miserably, swallowing the thought like it’s a dry pill. He would sit slack-jawed as the two lovers argued over which baby belonged to which man, making comments like, “did you see that?!” when he knows good and well that you’re sitting two feet from him and did, in fact, see it.

Dr. Drake Ramoray is about to announce the paternity test results when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Can, um, can we come in?” You turn your head to see Mandy standing in the doorway, pushing a redheaded girl in a wheelchair. “This is Maxine. She’ll be your new roommate,” she explains.

“Yup, finally busted out of intensive care,” the girl deadpans, tilting her head to better hear the TV. “Is that Days of Our Lives?”

You give an embarrassed giggle, muting the show. “Yeah, sorry. Guilty pleasure.”

Maxine shakes her head. “No, put it back on! I love that shit. I didn’t have a TV in ICU, so I had to listen to my boyfriend read to me.” A blush creeps across her cheeks at the mention of her boyfriend, and she leans on Mandy as the nurse helps her into the bed. “He has a nice voice, though. So it wasn’t all bad. Better than listening to him argue with his friends about D&D.” Mandy laughs at that before excusing herself from the room.

The mention of the fantasy game is like a knife slice through your heart, but you shake off the thought. “That’s sweet of him.”

“Yeah,” Maxine nods. “Read all my favorites. Guess that’s how it’ll be for a while, until I learn Braille.” That’s when you notice that her eyes are cloudy, the blue irises not focusing in a particular direction. 

You’re rendered speechless for a moment, unsure how to respond to what she’s said. “I’m sorry,” you finally manage to choke out, wincing at how dumb you sound.

Maxine doesn’t seem to care or pick up on your embarrassment. “It sucks,” she says, “but I’ve got a good support system, y’know? And with the way everything in this town’s gone to shit, being blind doesn’t seem like too big of a deal.”

You assume she’s talking about the earthquake essentially splitting Hawkins into quadrants, destroying homes, businesses, and leaving far too many people injured or dead. You start to nod before remembering that she can’t see you. “I get it, but it doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal to you.”

She pauses before responding, contemplating what you’ve just said. “Guess so,” she mumbles. “I just feel guilty worrying about myself when other people are suffering even worse.”

“I’ll drink to that.” You raise your glass of water to your lips, feeling the lukewarm liquid slip down your throat. “Have they told you how much time you'll be stuck here?” 

She chuckles tersely. “Nope. They all keep saying, ‘a little bit longer, and you’ll be back home.’ But I don’t even know if I’ll have a home to go back to.”

“Where do you–did you live?” You shake your head. “That might be too personal, sorry. I’m just excited to have someone to talk to.” And it’s true. Ever since Eddie left a few days ago, you’d been alone with your thoughts. Never a good thing, especially when you’re feeling this sad and helpless, and the mundaneness of the hospital certainly doesn’t help.

“It’s cool. I lived over on Porter Street for a year or so before my mom and I moved into Forest Hills Trailer Park.” She gnaws on her lower lip as though waiting for your judgment. “But before we came to Hawkins, I lived in California.”

“Oh.” California. Where you and Eddie had made plans to run away to–though the sincerity of those plans were apparently up for debate. You want to ask her about it; if she’s ever been to Los Angeles, if she wants to go back, but the knot in your stomach urges you to shift the topic. “Your trailer–was it destroyed in the earthquake?”

“Not sure,” she answers honestly. “No one’s said anything to me, but that could just be to keep me from getting upset. But my boyfriend’s idiot friend–one of them, anyway–let it slip that my neighbor’s trailer got, like, split in half.”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe out. “Is your neighbor okay?”

“Uh, I think so,” Maxine says. “I haven’t talked to him but my boyfriend said he was released from the hospital.”

“That’s good,” you say. “I mean, not that he was in here, but that he was okay to leave.”

“Eddie—that’s my neighbor—is staying with some friends, I think. Or friends of his uncle or something.”

The way your head snaps so quickly in the redhead’s direction makes such a loud crack that even she hears it, wincing at the pop. “Eddie” is a common enough name, but you can’t think of another Eddie other than your Eddie—or, Eddie Munson, that is—in all of Hawkins.

“Wait. Is your neighbor Eddie Munson?” you ask, voice quivering despite your attempt to sound casual.

Her eyebrows pinch together and her head tilts in your direction. “How do you—oh shit! You’re Sunshine, aren’t you?”

Your face heats up at hearing Eddie’s nickname for you. How did Maxine know about that? She’s already said that she hasn’t talked to him. Which only means she heard it from someone else. But who? Between the days dragging into one another and the cocktail medley of medications you’ve been on, you’re not sure if Eddie called you that in front of his friends or not. But either way, somehow it was going around in his friend group that he’d met you and coined that nickname for you. 

“I, uh, yeah, I guess that’s me,” you say. 

“Dustin was telling me about you,” she answers your unasked question. “He said you’re pretty cool and you and Eddie got along really well.”

“Yeah,” you say, heaving a sigh. “I guess we did.”

“Did?” Maxine asks, picking up on your tone. “Something happen?”

“We had a fight,” you admit. “We both said some pretty nasty shit to one another. Then he left without saying goodbye, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Eddie’s never been known for his impulse control,” Max notes wryly, but anything else she’s about to add is cut off by the sound of more voices at the door.

“Max!” It’s Robin, and she has a girl by her side. “Hey, it’s me and Nancy. Sorry we’re late; no one told us that you moved rooms–oh, it’s Sunshine!”

You blush at the second mention of your nickname. “Hi, guys,’ you say, giving a little wave. “How’ve you been?”

“Can’t complain,” Robin puts her hands in her pockets. “But, really, we should be asking how you’re doing.” She glances over to her right side. “Oh, this is our friend, Nancy Wheeler.” Nancy gives you a soft smile, and you try to muster up one back.

“I’m okay.” you shrug. I had my first surgery yesterday, so I’m sore. Kinda nauseous from the pain meds. But other than that, I’m fine.” 

“She and Eddie got into a fight,” Maxine–Max–pipes up from the bed next to you. “He didn’t even say goodbye to her. Just…poof! Vanished.” She makes a little explosion gesture with her hands to emphasize her point.

Nancy presses her lips into a thin line. “Yeah, we heard,” she admits. “Eddie told us the other day. He, uh, he’s not very good at handling conflict.” 

“You can say that again,” you mumble, trying to hide your bitterness.

“He’s been different ever since he came home from the hospital,” Robin says. She pushes the curtain between the two beds as open as it would go and puts two chairs in between you and Max. She takes the chair closer to you and Nancy takes the one closer to Max. 

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“He’s been acting weird,” Robin says.

“How can you tell?” Max asks, a smirk on her lips as she gazes unseeingly at the ceiling. 

“Weird for him. He’s all broody and sulking. I mean, I get that the guy almost died, but he was in a much better mood when he was in here.”

All eyes—even Max’s—turn to you laying in your bed. It’s hard not to shrink under their gaze. You tuck your blanket up higher in an attempt to comfort yourself. 

“Do you want to talk to him?” Nancy asks, leaning forward to see you around Robin. 

“Yes,” you admit. “I thought we could clear the air before he left, but clearly that didn’t happen. Then I was hoping the phone would ring. Or maybe he’d just show up. Every time I was taken out of my room for tests or something, I’d always ask my nurse Mandy to watch in case he stopped by. This whole thing’s honestly just got me going crazy. I just want a chance to apologize and explain.”

“What happened?” Robin asks, but after a stern look from Nancy adds, “If you don’t mind talking about it, that is.”

You take a deep breath and nod your head. The pain meds are still circulating through your system so you find yourself more willing to spill your guts to these girls you hardly knew. 

“You know how he called me Sunshine? Well, that ended up being a shit load of pressure. I mean, he didn’t really put it on me—I-I guess I did. But if I brought happiness to his day then I didn’t want to bring him down by telling him the news on my leg wasn’t good. This can be a pretty shitty place to spend day after day so I didn’t want to make it worse on him. 

But it’s not like he ever gave me a chance to explain any of this. Just assumed I was lying to him for my own sick enjoyment. Kept going on and on about how I was just like everyone else who ever made fun of him. And that really fuckin’ hurt. Then he called me—among other things—a bitch and I was seething. I was seeing red, spitting mad. So, I…well, fuck, I said something I really didn’t mean. It went too far and I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth. I tried…I tried to tell him that. But he wouldn’t listen. Not that I entirely blame him. So, I told myself, I’d talk to him in the morning before he left. Then everything would be-be good.” 

You didn’t expect to start crying while talking about this—about Eddie, but your cheeks are covered in the wet proof that you did. You’re so flustered that you don’t even register Robin taking your hand in hers. 

“Let it out,” she reassures you. “You never told Eddie about any of this?”

You shake your head. “Everyone kept saying how happy I made him. I didn’t wanna be the reason why he’s sad.”

“I don’t think he would’ve been sad,” Nancy tells you. “Concerned, yes. But, I also understand you wanting to shield him from that.” 

“He misses you. It’s plain as day,” Robin says, and her words make you start crying even harder. She scoots her chair closer to you so that she can rub your shoulder consolingly. “It’s going to be okay. And I’m not the type of person who is just going to say that to make you feel better. Actually, I tend to say the wrong thing when I’m trying to make someone feel better. But I genuinely believe this is just a misunderstanding you guys are gonna get through.”

“Yeah, if he ever talks to me again,” you say with a sniffle. 

“He will,” Nancy says and she sounds resolutely sure in her answer. 

Robin and Nancy stay for a little over an hour, talking about people that you don’t know and places that you haven’t been, but you somehow still feel part of the whole conversation with them. It might be the medicine coursing its way through your body, but you feel a little emotional being in a group of girls like this. You hadn’t made a solid group of girl friends away at college, so you’ve been missing this kind of connection. 

Once Robin and Nancy leave, they’re not out the door for thirty seconds before Max pounces.

“You love him.”

“What?” You’re so taken aback by her statement that you can’t come up with anything else to say. No point in asking who she’s talking about, since the only guy you knew in their whole conversation was Eddie—and Steve and Dustin a little. But you’d never even thought those words to yourself about Eddie before. Obviously, you found him attractive. Very attractive. And he’s so kind and funny. It’s addictive spending time with him; you always want more. Your stomach flip flops as you come to the realization. 

Holy shit. Max is right. 

“I know I’m right,” Max says.

Color draining from your face, you turn in her direction. “What?”

She chuckles and shrugs her shoulders. “Knew you were thinking about how right I am. I’m right about most things. Just ask my boyfriend.” 

A frantic knock on the door has Eddie hoisting himself up from where he’s slumped down on Gareth’s couch, which is now his makeshift bed. Since he’d been discharged from the hospital, he and Wayne have been crashing there. It’s a nice place; much fancier than the trailer, but it’s not his home. The steaming cup of cocoa that Gareth’s mom made for him reminds him of the shelf of mugs in his own home, now utterly destroyed. 

Bet Sunshine could make tonight better, he thinks glumly. She made everything better. The knocking gets louder, snapping him from his pity party. “Coming, coming!” Eddie grumbles, tossing aside the quilt and padding towards the door. 

He’s nearly bowled over by Robin and Nancy, who eagerly push their way into the living room. “Um, come on in, I guess?”

“Cool, thanks,” Robin says, plopping down in an armchair. “We need to talk to you, like, now.”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Robs. You make it sound like an emergency.”

“It is an emergency,” Robin protests. “A love emergency!”

“Lucy, Ethel!” Eddie interrupts. “Can you get to the point, please?”

Nancy grins as she delivers the news. “We saw Sunshine today,” she says, watching as Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise. “Max is her new roommate.”

“She misses you, and she is so, so sorry,” Robin jumps in. “She told us that she was going to talk to you the morning after your argument, but you’d already left.” She frowns. “Did you really leave without saying goodbye?”

Eddie buries his face in his hands. “I fucked up. Bad.” He stands up, pacing the room. “But so did she! She—she threw the murder charges in my face! Like it was nothing.”

“She knows,” Nancy says. “And she feels awful about it.”

“And she lied to me,” Eddie adds. “I mean, Buckley, you were there when Harrington said there was a spark. How could there be a spark if she’d just been lying to me?”

Robin breathes out, sharing a knowing look with Nancy. “Eddie,” she starts, “she felt a lot of pressure to keep up this happy, optimistic façade for you. She thought that if she told you what was going on, you’d worry about her.”

Eddie barks out an incredulous laugh. “Of course I’d worry about her! When the people you lo—care about are going through shit, you worry about them!”

“Well, did you tell her about the Upside Down?” Nancy presses, leaning her chin on her palm. 

“No.”

“And why not?”

“Because it’s crazy, and unbelievable, and pretty fuckin’ scary!”

“Yeah, well, the stuff she’s going through is pretty fuckin’ scary for her, too,” Robin explains. “And just like you wanted to protect her, she wanted to protect you.”

“Jesus.” Eddie breathes out a long sigh. “What can I—how can I fix this?” A misty film coats his eyes. “I never meant to make her feel like she couldn’t talk to me about her problems.”

Nancy puts a polished hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I think you should be telling her this,” she says kindly. “Maybe bring her some flowers?”

Eddie perks up a bit at the thought. “Yeah! Yeah, I can do that. Maybe I can go next week, when I’m cleared for longer car rides.” The trip home from the hospital was painful enough; each bump in the road sent shockwaves through his scars. 

Robin smiles. “I think she’ll love that.”

“Never thought I’d be taking love life advice from Lady Wheeler and Video Girl,” he muses. 

Robin shrugs, clearly not offended. “Better than from Steve,” she says simply. 

It’s only been about two weeks since Eddie’s been in these halls, but being able to walk them of his own free will and knowing he can turn around and leave at any time he likes certainly makes it better. Making the familiar walk to his old room, Eddie wrinkles his nose at the scent of antiseptic and whatever disinfectant they use to clean the floors. How did he ever sleep in this place? Bells and alarms are going off every other minute. Eddie feels like he’s going crazy and he’s only been in the hospital for three minutes.

Small bouquet of Sunflowers in his hand, Eddie takes the elevator to the correct floor, then turns right down two hallways, and he’s finally at the room. Before raising his fist to knock, Eddie takes a deep breath to compose himself. He wasn’t sure how he’d be feeling seeing his Sunshine again after their fight, but the correct answer to that would be anxious. He gently knocks on the door frame and pokes his head into the room.

“Who is it?” Max asks, talking to you, Eddie presumes. Or maybe to him, wanting him to announce himself. 

“It’s, uh, me,” Eddie says, taking a step into the room. “Um, Eddie.” He glances over at your bed, hoping one quick look would steel his nerves to look at you head on. But he does a double take when you’re not in the bed. 

“Hey, Eddie,” Max says. She breaks him out of his confused haze and he steps around the curtain to see her. Considering all that the girl had gone through, she doesn’t look too bad. Casts are still covering the multiple bones that had been broken, but her unseeing eyes were by far the most unsettling. It caused a pit in Eddie’s stomach to know all that she had endured and all she had tried to shield her friends from had landed her here like this. 

“How’re you feeling, Red?” Eddie takes a seat next to her bed, your flowers still clutched in his grip.

“So bored,” she says with a sigh. “There’s shit to do around here. I have to listen to everything. Can’t watch anything, obviously. Can’t touch anything ‘cause of these damn broken arms. Only other senses I get to use are my sense of smell to inhale the lovely aroma of body odor and hospital chemicals, and my sense of taste when I have to literally be spoon fed because my body doesn’t work.”

“Jesus,” Eddie says. “I’m thinking I’m lucky now that all I have are some chunks of skin missing from my one man show for some fucked up demonic bats.”

“I’m sorry,” Max says with a sigh. “I didn’t mean to unload on you like that. Just been stuck in my head today.” 

“No, no, I get it. But, uh…couldn’t you have talked to… I mean, where is, um,” Eddie stutters out.

“Your Sunshine?” Max asks, a mocking cheesy smile on her face. “Came to see your girl?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a sigh. A faint blush comes to his cheeks at Max referring to you in that way. “Where is she?”

“Her second surgery is today,” Max tells him. “They came and took her early this morning and I’m not sure when she’ll be back because they’ll take her to recovery first.” 

Eddie’s grip tightens on the flowers in his hands and he makes a conscious effort to take it easy so the stems aren’t snapped off when you get to see them. There’s a queasiness in his stomach as he thinks about you being in surgery right now. Unconscious, doctors working on you, scalpels cutting open portions of your skin. It gives him a full body chill. 

“Her mom is here somewhere. In the surgery center’s waiting room, I’d guess,” Max tells him.

“Oh,” Eddie says, suddenly becoming fidgety in his seat. He wants to go out there and find your mom, who will hopefully have an update on you. But he doesn’t want to leave Max all alone again. 

“Go,” Max says, as if reading his mind. “Just make sure you switch the television to something else before you leave. If I hear the news cycle one more time I’m going to claw my way out of these casts just so I can turn the channel myself.”

Eddie stands and flips through the channels until he settles on Wheel of Fortune. “How’s that?”

“Kinda hard to play along without seeing the puzzle, but whatever, it’s better than the news. Oh, uh, Eddie? Before you go, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he says, slipping his free hand into the pocket of his jeans. 

“No one will give me a straight answer. Maybe they don’t know or just don’t want to tell me, but I know you’ll have seen it. Is my home okay? I know my mom’s still staying there, but I want to know she’s safe.”

Eddie frowns and takes a few steps forward to gently place his hand on your shoulder. “Your trailer looks fine. Or, well, I guess I should say it looks the same. None of the trailers in Forest Hills have ever looked ‘fine.’ But yeah, your mom is safe there. No damage or anything like that.”

“Thank you,” Max says, releasing a sigh that’s probably weighed heavily on her for a while. 

“Sure thing. Hey, I brought some flowers. I’m gonna put them on Sunshine’s bedside table, okay?” He takes one of the sunflowers out of the bunch and snaps off the branch so he can stick it into one of Max’s twin braids. “Now you look like a real flower child.”

“Can’t hold my fingers up in a peace sign, but okay. Yeah, I’ll tell her the flowers are from you if she comes back in here after you’ve left. Glad to know there’s actually flowers in here though, because I smelled them and thought it was some new cleaning product they were trying.” 

“Thanks, Red. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Eddie asks as he sets your flowers down.

“Wish I could say the same,” Max says and Eddie winces at his phrasing. “I’m messing around. Go find your Sunshine, lover boy.”

“Ugh, don’t call me that,” Eddie whines.

“Fine. Romeo? Lovebug? Casanova?”

“Jesus, just call me Eddie,” he says with an eye roll. He shouts a goodbye over his shoulder as he heads out of the room. 

Eddie makes his way to the waiting room, rubber soles of his worn Keds squeaking on the linoleum floor. He recognizes your mom from their brief encounter the day before he left, and he gives her a tight grin. 

“Um, hi,” he says. She gives him a confused look, and he realizes how different he must look, freshly shaved and in his normal clothes. “I’m Eddie. Sunshine’s old roommate? And, uh, the one who called her Sunshine, I guess.” He ducks his head bashfully. 

Your mom’s expression softens as she recognizes the boy. “Of course! Sorry, it feels like my head is spinning, waiting for the doctor to come out with an update.”

“How long has it been?” Eddie asks, taking a seat next to her. 

“Too damn long,” She chuckles lightly as she glances at her wristwatch, letting out an exasperated sigh. “About four hours now. They said it shouldn’t take too much longer than that…”

As if on cue, Dr. Sanoj hurries into the waiting room, fingers clasped together. A knot forms in Eddie’s stomach; whatever’s going on can’t be good. 

“I have an update on your daughter,” he says to your mom. “We could speak somewhere private, if you’d like.” His gaze briefly shifts to Eddie, who shoves his hands in his pockets shyly. 

But your mom is firm when she shakes her head and says, “no, he can hear this.” 

“Okay,” the doctor begins. “The surgery was successful, and didn’t take too long at all. There are some complications, however; possibly due to having two procedures done so close together.”

“What’s going on?” Eddie interrupts. 

“We’re having some difficulty waking her from the anesthesia, and she’s spiked a small fever,” Dr. Sanoj admits. “There’s no real cause for concern yet. We’re just going to have the nurses continue to take her vitals.”

Eddie feels your mom’s fingernails dig into his wrist, but he doesn’t complain. It feels good, in a way, to know that he can be there for someone in their time of need. “Can we see her?” she asks the doctor. 

He nods. “Yes, of course. You can follow me into the recovery room.” They’re both right on his heels as they make their way down the white corridor. Neither of them say a word, but the fear is palpable. 

“You can go in first,” your mom offers. “I need to make some phone calls to relatives and friends. Just let me know if she wakes up, please.” Her tone is hopeful, but Eddie can still sense the anxiety beneath it. 

Seeing you in such a vulnerable state twists Eddie’s heart. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he feels the tears on his cheeks. Pulling up a chair to your bedside, he takes your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it gently. 

“Sunshine, can you hear me? If you can hear me, please wake up.” He leans over, placing the back of his free hand on your forehead. “Shit, you’re burnin’ up. Small fever, my ass,” he grumbles. He’s always been suspicious of doctors, and he doesn’t trust that this isn’t more serious than the surgeon let on. 

“Listen, Sunshine,” he starts. He’s not sure if you can even hear him, but it’s worth a shot. “I’m really sorry that I made you feel like you had to pretend to be happy all the time. That’s never what I wanted. I guess…I guess I figured you’d tell me if something was wrong. Sounds kinda dumb now that I’m saying it out loud.” He gives a small laugh. “And when I found out that you’d been keeping your surgeries a secret, I thought it was just you pushin’ me away. But now I know it’s because you were just tryin’ to protect me.

“And, look, I get it if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’m loud, and impulsive, and I couldn’t pass geometry if my life depended on it. I have no idea what I’m doing after high school, and I wish I could blame the earthquake for that, but it’s all me. Also, in the spirit of honesty or whatever, remind me to tell you the truth about that earthquake thing,” he adds, bringing his thumbnail to his mouth and chewing on it anxiously. 

“Sunshine, you’re, like, this beautiful ballerina with these big plans and a heart of fuckin’ gold. And if–when–you wake up, if you decide to never speak to me again, I’ll understand. I mean, I’ll be devastated because, y’know, you’re kinda my favorite person in the whole world, but I’ll get out of your way. But, please, please wake up. I can’t have you dying before you even get a chance to live out your dreams.”

Eddie stops, cocking his head slightly to watch your chest move up and down with each shallow breath. You start to sputter, and his heart lurches at the prospect of you hearing his words and waking up to them.

But the sputtering gets more violent, and one of the many machines connected to you starts to beep loudly. A swarm of nurses infiltrates the room, nudging Eddie out of the way.

“We need all visitors to leave,” one of them tells him, even though he’s clearly the only other person there.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Eddie calls out as he’s being guided out of the door. “Is something wrong?” He watches as they pull out a defibrillator, attaching the adhesives to your chest before starting it up. He wants to stay and be there for you, even if you aren’t aware of it, but the door is closed behind him.

“You can pull through, Sunshine,” he whispers. “You’ve gotta pull through.” Not many sounds reach him on the other side of the door, and Eddie isn’t sure how he feels about that as he paces back and forth. He’s hardly keeping together when he hears footsteps coming down the hall. 

“Eddie?”

He lifts his head to see your mom walking towards him, a confused frown pinched on her face as she approaches. It’s the sight of her that has the impending tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Eddie, what’s going on? Why’s the door closed?”

Wringing his hands in front of him, Eddie halts his pacing. His mouth opens but nothing comes out. The longer his silence drags on, the more concerned your mother looks. 

“I’m not sure, really,” Eddie says. “I was in there with her then machines started beeping and they kicked me out. They brought some other machine over to her but then I couldn’t see anymore because they closed the door.”

“W-What?” Your mom looks around, seeing if there are any doctors or nurses around that can explain what’s happening to you. She almost bangs on the door but she doesn’t want to interrupt whatever they’re doing in there to help you. “What’s happening to my baby girl?”

Eddie’s eyes were misting over before, but at the heartbreaking tone of your mom, tears start to trickle down his face. He doesn’t know what to do or say. What would you do in this situation? Taking a wild guess, Eddie opens his arms to your mom, who instantly takes him up on the hug. Her head rests on his shoulder and it’s not long before he can feel her tears soaking into his shirt.  “She’ll be okay,” Eddie says. “She has to be.”

--

taglist: @thebrookemunson, @mystars123, @h-ness1944, @hazydespair, @ajkamins, @aysheashea, @jasminelafleur, @brittney69, @arsonfrogger, @brassreign, @lunarzstarz, @aftermidnightwriting, @justtryingtobecreative, @micheledawn1975, @kailynn-exe @afunkyfreshblog @fangirling-4-ever @crimsonsabbath @babyexpertlampskeleton @whenshelanded @ches-86 @acmbooksfilmtelevisionandreads

[sirenjose]

So I've been really into your analysis lately and I'm a huge fan now, wanted to ask some questions, feel free to not answer any

1- what was your favourite idv story/event to analyze?

2- your least fav of the latter?

3- are you into anything else besides idv?

4-how do you find the motivation to analyze stuff? I've tried before and it was very draining :')

Thanks for your time, hope you have a lovely day

I'm very happy to hear you're enjoying yourself despite my own low opinion about much of what I put out. I'll do my best to answer!

Hmm I always dislike picking favorites because I'm bad at picking eheh... But the ones I liked most... I honestly enjoy T&I and COA (1-5) even more than the main story. So I think I might pick... Atropos' Ropes for T&I and for COA, thats harder... 3-5 are my faves but I might pick 4 just because of how it felt it had the most story/details given than all the rest. Even the *SONG* had story. I loved it.

Least fave, eh... Orfeo and Zinaida immediately come to mind, though Orfeo I'd say was worse... COA 1 is another primarily because of how DIFFICULT it was for me to figure it out enough to put together an analysis. And I had to rewrite that thing at LEAST 3 times to the point I'm just hoping it's good enough and leaving it alone. Time of Reunion I think is another that comes to mind, mainly because I didn't appreciate how they treated Norton in there, especially in the videos (but at least those aren't canon like the in-game event was). So based on all that, I might say Orfeo if I really had to pick 1. Then rank ToR 2nd and Zinaida/COA1 3rd.

FF14 and Honkai Star Rail especially I'm playing actively these days, but I honestly like a lot of stuff. Like Persona (espeially 4), 999 aka Zero Escape, and Star Ocean Til the End of Time. Least in terms of games.

Hmm... Maybe because the 1st reason I play a game is because of the story, and gameplay is always 2nd to me. If the story and characters are good, that gets me interested. Issue with IDV is we only get bits and pieces. Really need to look deeper to really understand some of the characters. I actually only started analyzing because I challenged myself (partially out of curiosity for the answer) to see if I could prove if Norton wasn't as evil as people thought (based on all the comments I saw when I 1st joined the fandom a long while ago). From there, there was Jose who I wanted to analyze because he honestly had so many plot holes I couldn't (and still can't completely) solve. So I get the most enjoyment analyzing something that doesn't have a clear answer. Which is why I don't always post for every letter. A big part of it is I enjoy history and culture and such, so it's fun for me to learn about different foods, or time periods, or how bad the environment was for miners or sailors back in the day, etc... I dont think I have an easy answer (I can see I'm rambling). Norton I actually only began to like because I was spending so long working on my 1st analysis for him (and my perfectionism made me analyze all of Norton's essences before i could call it finished). Jose was because I love Captain Hook, and then after because of the plot holes that bothered me. Then for others, I think I enjoy making analyses to... try to sometimes change people's opinoions/beliefs. Like with Margaretha or Vera. With Edgar was because I was more interested in his story and him as a character only once I put together all his lore. Sort of goes on from there. I could ramble on but I'm going to get even more guilty. I hope this helps somewhat, but let me know if it doesn't and I'll keep going. Maybe the simple is A) I like history/culture/research, B) I like to convince people that certain characters arent as evil as they think or change beliefs I think aren't quite accurate, C) I like solving puzzles and I love story, D) I already think too hard about literally everything, and combined with my perfectionism, we get analysis

[concreteburialplot]

VIRALITY // 09

-> 09 - Lavender Haze

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc (vallie)

masterlist/intro: here | crossposted: ao3

word count: 7.1k

warnings: mention of alcohol/dependency, weed, arguing, angry/jealous/dom ruffilo, business talk, oral (f receiving), p n v (unprotected), dirty talk, cream pie, fingering, d/s dynamics if you squint, almost getting caught, kinda messy ?, mention of std testing/birth control, fluff ?????????¿ cuddling, important plot stuff, 18+ ONLY MDNI

a/n: don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

VALLIE

When we get to their house, I’m grateful for the empty driveway, which means no Jolly and no Folio. Nobody else to know about this.

I round Nicholas’ car to open the passenger door for Noah.

“Hey, hey.” I pat his cheek to wake him up.

The singer looks up at me with glazed over, sleepy eyes. His drinks finally caught up to him, especially the last ones before we left which he claimed, “helped with the pain”.

The whole bar fight was quite sobering for me, but a small bit of alcohol is still running through me, and that tiny bit is not helping me with this 6’3 drunken baby. His slim face is so beat up and while my patience is waning, I still feel guilty. While he’s paper thin, when I pull on his skinny arm, he feels so heavy.

“C’mon Sebastian let’s go.” Nicholas finally makes his way around, snapping at Noah to get up. I’m glad Nick is here but he wasn’t much fun on the way home either. He kind of reminded me of a father having to pick up his drunken teenager. It makes me wonder how many times he’s done this song and dance with Noah.

Nicholas dips into the car and pulls the long-haired boy out easily. He comes to just a bit, enough to notice who’s holding him and seems to relax. I notice how sleepy Noah leans into Nick and nudges his head into the crook of his neck. I can tell Nicholas isn’t happy with the situation but even still, he wraps an arm tight around Noah’s waist. The scene is so delicate considering the circumstances of how we got here.

Nick gestures to me to sling his right arm around my shoulders to help carry a mumbling and incoherent Noah inside. We hobble him through the front door of the empty house and by a miracle we got him upstairs to his room in one piece.

The actions of babying a drunk Noah and throwing him into bed felt all too much like déjà vu. His room was the same, if not worse, than from that night of the party. There are so many clothes and so much trash on the ground that I can barely see the floor. Nicholas and I basically used our feet to push a path through to his bed. There was only a tiny sliver of mattress even visible, the rest was piled up with just… garbage. At least, it looks like garbage. We plop him on the bit of mattress just like last time and try to navigate our way out. Just as we reach the door, there’s a stir behind us followed by a sleepy groan.

“Nicky?” Noah’s voice cracks.

Nicky

Nicky?

Nicholas tenses up immediately, I can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t like the name or if he doesn’t like me hearing it.

“Nicky.” He whines again, calling him over.

Nick sighs and looks at me gesturing me to go on without him. I make my way to the door and watch from behind the doorframe while he makes his way back over to the boy.

When Nicholas reaches the bed, Noah’s tattooed arms swing around his waist, pressing the side of his face into Nick’s tummy while he’s still laying down. I squint my eyes to see what Nicholas is doing to find that he’s brushing Noah’s hair out of his face.

“Thank you.” Noah mumbles against his shirt.

“I know.” Nick replies softly.

I step out of the doorway before Nicholas turns to leave to make it seem like I hadn’t just witnessed that.

Once I’m alone with Nicholas, I sense that he’s fuming which is a much different vibe that the one that was just stroking Noah’s hair.

“Why the fuck would you take him out drinking in the middle of the day?” He asks through grinding teeth. The way he poses the question implies that it was my idea, like it was my fault. Which I guess it half was.

“I don’t know? He made me go to this meeting with Bryan and-”

“He took you to meet Bryan?” He interrupts.

“Yeah? To brainstorm for the music video?” I answer as if it was obvious.

“Music video?” He sucks at his teeth, taking an aggravated step back. “Funny how this is the first time I’m hearing about a fucking music video.” He drags his fingers across his forehead in a pinch. “I need a drink, or a blunt or… something.” He sighs then turns away from me heading towards his room down the hall.

I decide to follow him, “Why is a music video bad?” I ask, confused.

He glares at me from his open bedroom door, “If you’re gonna pry you might as well help me with this blunt.”

I tug at my bottom lip in thought. I shouldn’t stay here with him, and I definitely shouldn’t be smoking with him while still a bit tipsy, but curiosity gets the best of me. “Fine.”

His room is dark and lit with LED, neon, and decorative lights on almost every surface. Opposed to Noah’s, his room is neat, tidy, and spotless. His bed is pressed against the wall and perfectly made with grey sheets, a black duvet and coordinating pillows. I set my bag down on the ground in front of his bedside table and sit on the end of the bed right behind his desk chair. He has a similar gaming set up to Noah’s, two monitors, a long light-up mousepad, and some other neon lights. There’s even some plushies in the corner of his desk that I recognize to be some animals from video games. He sits on his gaming chair which is black and blue opposed to Noah’s black and red. Reaching across the desk, he grabs a jar, a lighter and part of a wrapping leaf.

“I thought you said you can’t roll?” I ask as he starts filling the brown wrapper with ground weed.

It isn’t until the smell of green hits my nose that I realize there’s also a sweet smell filling the room, something like butterscotch. I track the smell to find a burning candle sitting on a bookshelf across the small room.

“I can’t. But Folio’s been trying to teach me.” His focus is on evening out the grounds across the leaf. His tongue begins to carefully dampen the edges of the wrap and the sight of it sends a buzzing down between my legs. He was so good with just his cock… I can’t imagine what his tongue would do to me.

I press my thighs together and shift in my seat then clear my throat, “So, what’s so bad about Noah wanting to make a music video?”

He sighs harshly, “It’s not about the music video, it’s about him making decisions without us.” His tongue does one last swipe before sealing the roll completely. “And because of,” Gesturing towards Noah’s room with the blunt between his fingers, “That.”

I furrow my brows, “Because of what?”

The lighter sizzles the end of the roll and burns a cherry red when he inhales. “The drinking.”

The words flash me back when I overheard them in the kitchen when Nicholas asked him about meetings. Guilt swells in my chest knowing I contributed to it today. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault he’s a fucking drunk.” He exhales thick smoke above us. “He gets like this then does a bunch of shit without talking to us first. That’s how Just Pretend got released as a single before we even have an album finished.”

He’s getting riled up but seems to stop himself from continuing, choosing to take another hit, maybe in the hopes of it calming him down.

I take the blunt from his offering hand and put it to my glossy lips, leaving a rim of light pink when I pull away to exhale. “He really did that?”

“Vallie, our album is barely halfway done. We haven’t even chosen a title yet.” He says watching me inhale again. “That is who you wanna put the focus of the band on, that is who you wanna draw people in with: a drunken fucking mess.” He hisses and snatches the roll the second I offer it back. His tone and actions are getting increasingly more aggressive, in a way I’ve never seen him before – not that I’ve really known him for that long, but it makes me nervous either way.

“I mean… he is the lead singer.” I counter, even though I know he’s not going to like it.

Nicholas’ thick brow hangs low over his eye, “He’s a liability. Since you’re so concerned with money and numbers, that should be very clear to you.”

He’s right.

If Noah can get as unhinged and unpredictable as he’s saying and as I saw today, he is a liability.

I’m a fool for not realizing it sooner, but maybe the glimmer of hope from his small cooperation blinded me.

Regardless, Noah’s reckless behavior is something to think about… when I’m not cross faded with the band member I already fucked.

“It doesn’t really matter if he’s a drunk, Nicholas.” I steal the blunt back and perch it between my index and middle fingers. “If we do this correctly the girls will be flocking to him.” I take in a short puff and let it out. “And to you, to the band as a whole.”

He rolls his eyes so hard I think they might fall out. “Oh, cut the business jargon Vallie. We get it, everyone wants to fuck Noah fucking Sebastian.” He shoots up from his seat in aggravation.

So much for the weed calming him down.

My brows knit together confused at the inherent jealousy. If I was more foolish, I’d think this jealousy was over just me, but it seems much more complex than that. It’s murky and conflicted and I feel a piece or two missing in the puzzle.

It’s not uncommon for band members to be jealous of their frontman and to an extent, I feel this is true for them as well. But there’s still something more than that.

Something more complicated.

More confusing.

Could it be…

No, of course not. Right?

Perhaps it’s not just me he’s jealous over.

I shake the thoughts from my head, today is not the day to unpack any of that. Maybe it’s the weed that’s making me overanalyze things.

The smoke over filling my nose reminds me that I’m in possession of the still lit blunt, so I take it and smash its sizzling end into the ashtray.

“This isn’t about whether or not people want to fuck Noah, this is about the success of the band Nick.” I stand to meet his face, so he’ll actually listen to me. Well, look up at his face anyway.

Never in my entire career have I ever had to convince anyone this much to make more money.

“The band is already successful.” He snaps back, his eyes stone cold grey looking down at me.

I’m not about to insult his band again so I shift the topic, “As I said before, fangirls don’t mean just for Noah. Sure, he’ll get the most, that’s natural. But they’ll be there for you too. Don’t you want that?”

“No.” He says shortly.

“You don’t want your own group of girls that you get to pick and choose from at every show?” I say, leaning heavy on the clichés of it all. “Girls that are begging to be backstage and are willing to give you anything you want?”

But it’s not until then, as it’s coming out of my mouth, that I realize the idea of it settles a weird pit in my own stomach. It’s something also reminiscent of jealousy but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Odd.

“No, I don’t want fucking fangirls Vallie.” He says through gritted teeth.

“What kind of fucking rockstar doesn’t want fangirls?” I can tell he’s being purposely difficult and it’s making me begin to lose my composure.

“Oh my god, are you really this fucking dense? This isn’t about fucking groupies.” He nearly spits the word.

I’m trying to put puzzle pieces together in my head but they’re not fitting. I don’t understand his anger, where it’s coming from or the reason.

“Then what the fuck is this about then? Because I called him hot at our meeting the other day? Because we went out drinking today?”

Bingo.

His eyes narrow down at me and I’m suddenly extremely aware of his height. He’s not as tall as Noah, but he still towers over me. “I just think it’s funny that you’re trying to make a sex symbol out of a man who couldn’t make you cum if he tried.” He hisses, his steel eyes warn me not to push.

But I do, I always push.

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”

He gives a breathy chuckle and brings his hand to hold my chin up by the tips of his fingers. “If he wasn’t a passed out drunken mess right now, I’d drag him in here to prove me right.”

My eyes widen not just at his words but at his deep voice that shifted into something sinister. He has to be joking right? He wouldn’t actually bring Noah in here to do…that, would he? And why is the thought of it… of both of them causing a throbbing between my legs.

Regardless, fear creeps up my chest one rib at a time and gets lodged in my throat. My mind can’t comprehend how Nicholas can go from his normal sweetness to something that scares the shit out of me.

“Why do you care if he couldn’t make me cum?” I ask for some stupid reason. “And you only made me come once, how do I know it wasn’t just some miracle? I was drunk after all.” I pop a brow and cross my arms over my chest.

I never was one for cooperation.

His hand seamlessly slides down from my chin to around my throat. There’s no pressure beneath his fingertips but they’re taunting a good squeeze.

“If you don’t keep your mouth shut, I’ll have to prove you wrong.” I swallow hard under his grip and squeeze my thighs together. I shouldn’t be this turned on by him talking to me like this. “Did it feel like a miracle? Did it feel like I don’t know how to make you feel good?”

My eyes glance at the barely cracked open door nervous that someone would see, and he catches me. “Noah is passed out. Nobody else is home, nobody to help you out of this.” He growls and presses a tad on the sides of my neck. My eyes widen at him, at how easily he can control me from just one hand on my body. The rest of my body is begging to bow to him. “Answer the question.”

I gulp slightly and question my options. I could take the safe route, the route I should be taking, and tell him what he wants to hear so I can leave. However, that’s not what the pooling in my panties is telling me to do. I readjust under his grasp with still crossed arms and a straightened back. “I’ve had plenty of guys who’ve only been able to make me cum maybe once. You’re probably the same.”

I didn’t think his brows could lower any further and his eyes turn a dark stormy gray. Long, messy strands of black hair shadow across his face menacingly and there’s a tinge of true terror in my stomach. In one fell swoop, he slams me onto the bed with his hand still stapled around my neck. He nestles his head by my ear while his hand trails down my body, “I know you’re used to talking to the others like that, but you’ll learn not to talk to me that way.” He whispers lowly and the grip on my throat tightens ever so slightly. His hand lingers around the waistband of my skirt and somehow already found the hidden zipper. He roughly tugs it down past my ankles and forcefully spreads my thighs open with his leg. His hand moves up from my throat to grip my jaw hard and looks straight into my eyes, “I can fuck you better than that pathetic mess ever could.”

I’m melting under his touch; he looks nearly angelic despite his devilish demeanor. His raven hair is long, wild, and framing his face perfectly. His necklace with the thorny circular band symbol hangs just above my face and it takes every ounce of self-control not to pull it into my mouth. I want all of him, every part.

 Though everything right now is really intense, all I want to do is kiss him. So, I do just that. Quickly, before he has a chance to stop me, I gently take his face into my hands and meet his lips with mine. He gives in immediately and matches my energy making the kiss soft and tender even though he’s about to tear me apart. I really enjoy this about him, this duality he contains, and I can’t tell which side of it I like more.

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to escalate and for our tongues to be fighting for dominance, but his hand never leaves my jaw. He draws a finger up my drenched covered slit then circles around my swollen nub. A small whimper escapes me into the kiss and a smirk tugs across his face. “I’ve barely touched you and you’re already making a mess.”

I squeeze my eyes shut trying my best not to fall apart in his hands already. My hands are burning for him and all I want to do is touch him. I feebly go to palm the visible strain in his sweatpants, but his hand leaves my throat and snatches my wrist, pinning it to the bed. “You’ll touch me when I want you to touch me.” He growls. My eyes widen at his words and renders me speechless. “Is that understood?” He demands and I nod quickly.

His hands rake down my body until he’s on his knees between my legs, his fingers hook into the band of my panties and rip them down. Fingertips ghost-trail up my inner thigh which only worsens the pulsing in my clit begging for him. He then gently runs two fingers up my folds using my arousal to easily glide up and down slowly, from my bud to my entrance. I’ve never had any other man take his time like this, it’s almost like he’s taking the time to learn my body and how I react to anything he does. Like a predator learns its prey. His fingers spread me apart, causing every muscle in my body to tense up from being so exposed to him.

“So pretty.” He mutters. The sides of his fingertips begin to slowly scissoring around my clit and I unintentionally let out a small whine. I feel him smirk into a kiss he presses onto my inner thigh. “Maybe making you cum will fix your little attitude problem.”

The comment pisses me off, but it’s not enough to risk not getting his mouth on me, so I let it slide. I’m nearly vibrating under any touch he gives me and I’m so desperate for more.

He leaves a trail of kisses up my thigh until he reaches my core, each kiss reminds me how much my lips miss his. Time is moving too slow for my growing impatience. The second his tongue meets where I need him most, pleasure blooms across my body. He then slides two fingers inside, curling them directly into my sweet spot. I bite down on my bottom lip to contain my noises. In delicious unison, his tongue and fingers work together perfectly. His tongue is circling and rolling against my sensitivity and making me feel a knot in my stomach begin to grow already. There’s so much pleasure and tension built up in my body that all it wants to do is let it out in noises. I bring a hand to cover my mouth to stifle any moans that threaten to escape.

He rolls his tongue flat against me and pulls away just a bit. “Nobody’s home and Noah’s passed out.” He reminds me. “You can be as loud as you want for me.” He says before going to lightly kitten lick at my clit. “I wanna hear how I good I make you feel.” I look down to see him giving me a prideful smirk that makes me want to ravage him back.

That’s all the invitation I need to let my moans pour out with every roll of his tongue or curve of his fingers. My hand flies down to grip his hair, raking it through and gripping the root. “Fuck!”

“C’mon baby let it out,” He says against my core. “I know you can be louder than that.”

A loud moan rips out of my chest and my hips roll up into his mouth, “Fuck Nick!”

I’m so close already it’s embarrassing. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin and I’m tingly all over, down to my toes. My body is overwhelmed with his tongue rolling and swiping at my sensitive clit and his fingers knowing exactly where my g-spot is. I’m so needy and so desperate, I feel like I could just explode.

I grip on tight to his locks and rut my pussy into his mouth. He is the only thing in my head. In this moment, my mind belongs wholly to him. He lets me know that he loves the way I’m reacting to him by using his free hand to grip onto my thigh tug me closer. The louder I get the harder he works and the harder his fingers dig into my thigh.

The tight knot in my stomach feels like it’s about to snap. “Fuck, Fuck!” I cry, my legs involuntarily closing in around his head.

“Give in to me baby, cum for me, will you?” He says between licks. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”

I’m nearly blinded by his words. I’ve never been called anything like that before nor have I ever thought I’d like it. But that was it, that tipped me over the edge.

My back arched violently from the bed and my fingers curled tightly into his hair. Euphoria washes over my entire body and I’m seeing only fuzzy white. I can’t control the noises that leave my mouth but I’m sure if anybody heard them, they’d assume this was an exorcism.

He doesn’t stop until I fall limp under him and twitch at every tiny flick of his tongue. He finishes by cleaning all my juices up with one fat stripe up my slit. He looks up and chuckles at me, “You did such a good job for me.” He presses a kiss on my knee. For some reason his words make me feel warm all over.

He pulls his fingers from me and the emptiness they leave behind makes me crave his cock even more. He brings them to his lips, taking each tattooed finger into his mouth, sucking them clean. He smirks at the taste and at how I’m looking at him like I could devour him whole. The violet glow from the lights around us illuminate his features beautifully. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear there’s starlight draped across his skin, sprinkled above his brow, across his cheek bone and down the perfect slope of his nose. The purple reflects into his silver eyes making them look as though they encapsulate some lavender cosmos. Everything about him is so delicious, it’s hard to focus on just one part of him. He’s gorgeous.

He tethers me back to earth when runs his hands up and down my thighs as if to soothe me. “Are you okay?” The front of his brows tilted up.

“Yeah, yeah.” I nod my head.

“Do you want to continue?” He asks.

I inadvertently smile at the question. “Yeah, I do.”

The ends of his lips curl into a happy grin then leans down to gently cup my cheek and presses a soft kiss to my lips. He feels like ice water on a scorching summer day. I know I’m going to regret this when it’s over, but right now, it feels too good to pass up.

“Hold on let me get a condom.” He goes to reach behind him into his nightstand.

“Oh um, we don’t need one. I’m on birth control.” I say shyly. “If you want to that is, of course.”

He gives me a skeptical look, maybe surprised that I even said anything. “Are you sure?”

I stare at him just for a second contemplating if it’s a smart idea but the insatiable need for him convinces me it’s fine. I nod.

He pats my outer thigh telling me to make room for him. I scooch backwards in the bed as he slides his sweats down, letting his cock spring free. My mouth waters at the sight of it – the first time on the couch I only felt it in the darkness, but now I see it, every ridge and vein. I’m throbbing at the mere idea of him inside me. “Please fuck me.” I ask desperately, looking up at him.

He grips my cheeks and looks directly into my eyes. “It’s cute that you think you can tell me what to do.” He hisses and I’m suddenly once again afraid of what he could do to me.

He teases my entrance with his tip rolling it up and down my slit excruciatingly slow. While he is deliberately taking his time, the lustful glint in his eyes tell me that he’s just as needy as me. Finally, he slides in, stretching me out a bit painfully. I don’t remember him being so thick, but it was probably the alcohol that helped me to adjust to his size.

He lets out a deep groan once he’s bottomed out. “Fuck you’re so tight.”

Heat fills my cheeks at his comment and I’m putty in his hands again. I go to grab his face but quickly pull away remembering his instruction to not touch without permission. He looks at me confused with knitted brows.

“I just um, I just,” My stomach is suddenly filled with butterflies with razor wings, “Could you kiss me again?” I ask with a timid, almost embarrassed voice.

A smile tugs at his lips like it’s the easiest task he’s ever been asked to do. He leans down, cups my cheek in his hand and meets our lips once more. It’s gentle and sweet while he rubs his thumb across my cheekbone tenderly. “You were so good for me.” He says quietly within a small gap between our lips.

The praise makes my heart swell, only making me want to be better for him. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer into the kiss and wrap my legs around his hips pulling him deeper inside me. Slowly he begins rolling his hips into me, his length filling me over and over.

“Fuck.” I breathe out as he speeds up, “Fuck you feel so good.”

His head falls into my neck and begins peppering open mouth kisses into it while he buries himself into me. He kisses on all my sweet spots only increases the buzzing in my clit. His cock is so big that it fills me up completely and then some. He stretches me more than I thought was possible – it stings, but in the best way. I blink the tears from eyes from the pain.

“So good baby, taking fucking all of it.” He grunts as he thrusts into me hard and fast.

I’m so fucked out, my body has basically gone limp below him as he fucks me senseless. I’m on a pink fluffy cloud of building pleasure and my eyesight blurs everything around me. I can’t think about anything other than him. Right now, I am his, wholly, completely, entirely.

I let out a strangled moan as my hands reach around him to his back, digging my nails into it. He hisses at the pain of it.

“What did I tell you about touching?” He asks in a low whisper beneath my ear and fear climbs up my spine.

“I’m sorry.” I squeak.

His thrusts increase when he pulls back. I whine at the loss of contact on my neck. His hands roughly grab each of my wrists and pin them above my head while his length drives into my sweet spot.

His grip tightens around my wrists while the other slithers down my body. His fingers ever so lightly graze my skin and leaves a trail of goosebumps behind. The pads of his fingers find my aching clit and begins kneading slow circles into it. I wriggle beneath him from the sudden stimulation and let out a whimper.

“What did I say about touching?” He repeats and I dare not stay silent again.

“I’m not allowed to touch you.” I struggle to say past the noises threatening to leave me.

In contrast to earlier, his face now is angular and sharp. His thick, dark brows are low and menacing.

“Why can’t I touch you?” I ask meekly, although perhaps not the smartest idea.

He dips his head into the crook of my neck while his hips continue to crash against mine like waves to sand. “Because when you touch me, I can’t be responsible for what I’ll do.” He whispers low and raspy. “It makes me want to fuck you like that pussy is all mine. It makes me want to fuck you until you’re so sore that you can’t stop thinking about my cock, not even for a second.”

My eyes widen flutter closed and roll my hips up into him. His words are driving a rampant pulsing in my clit that he’s so deliciously helping with his fingers.

I blink up at him, “Maybe I want that.”

His face his twisted in concentration and now confusion. “What?”

“Well, I… maybe I want those things. Maybe I want you to take my pussy as yours. Maybe I don’t want to stop thinking about your big fucking cock. “I straighten out my shoulders. “Maybe I want to feel empty without you inside me.”

“Fuck.” He breathes out and speeds up, both in his thrusts but his fingers on my nub.

My body fills with tingling, budding excitement. He rails into me mercilessl, and I love every second, every inch of him – no matter how much it hurts.

His face falls into the crook of my neck and fills my ears with raspy breaths. “Fuck I’m close.”

“Me too.” I breathe out. “Cum inside me, please.”

He lets out a deep groan below my ear. “Fuck.” His thrusts become quick and hasty, but still precise and deliberate. The added speed to his momentum tips me over the edge.

“Fuck!” I yell out as my orgasm crashes into me like tidal wave. I feel the need to anchor myself to something, anything. One arm hooks around his neck, holding on for dear life. My other arm is tangled in the duvet and yanks on it so hard that it rips the sheet off the corner. My eyes roll back in bliss as he drills into me ruthlessly. Moans, curses and his name all tumble from my mouth.

It seems that enough to push him over the edge too. “Fuck. Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He grunts just before he stills for a moment, and I feel his cock twitch and spill his seed deep inside me. He lets out a long groan as he continues to rut into me through his orgasm.

When we come down from our high, Nick pulls from me and lands next to me in bed. He leaves me with an emptiness between my legs that apparently only his cock can satiate. But being filled to the brim with his cum definitely helps with that.

My eyelids are heavy as they slow blink up at the ceiling where the glow of his lights illuminate the edges of the room. Our mutual heavy breathing is the only noise filling up the room.

“You alright?” He asks, looking at me in the dimness.

“Mhm.” I turn my head slowly towards him, he’s glistening in sweat, the baby hairs that frame his face are stuck against his skin. He looks beautiful like this.

I never really thought a man could be beautiful. Handsome? Sure.

Cute? Yeah.

Hot? Of course.

But he supersedes them all. He’s stunning, angelic, nearly ethereal.

Of course, this gorgeous man has to be my client. I shouldn’t even be in his bed right now.

The warmth of his body next to me isn’t doing me any favors. After the whole Noah/bar situation earlier and all of me and Nicholas’ … activities, I’m drained completely. I can’t help but nuzzle into him, laying a bit on his arm.

I half expect him to pull away or make some snappy remark, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls his arm out from under me and wraps it around my shoulders.

My first instinct was to run but my exhausted body refuses. I cuddle onto his chest sleepily. My arm stretches across his front.

I am far too tired to be worried about the consequences. Through in my half-awake state I mumble, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We shouldn’t be doing any of this.” He clarifies while raking though my hair gently. “But I can’t help it, I don’t know. I can’t help what you do to me.”

My cheeks burn hot at the compliment. “Shut up.”

I think about it for a moment longer and it sets an odd, confused, sad pit in my stomach. “No but really we shouldn’t be doing this.”

He’s silent. “I know.”

I gulp staring at the wall.

I don’t even really know what “this” is, but I don’t want to think about it now. And I certainly don’t want to ask. I’m not even sure if it is anything or if it’s anything I want more of.

“If the others find out…”

“I know.” He stops me.

Another factor slips into my mind. “If they find out, they won’t take me seriously.”

I see his face twist in thought, maybe trying to calculate if that’s true. “Yeah, maybe… I guess.”

I don’t have the energy to explain the implications of it all, so I leave it. I sigh and hide my face in his chest.

Suddenly there’s a stir from outside the room that disrupts the calm peace between us.

A door opens from down the hall.

Nicholas’ eyes shoot open, “Fuck it’s Noah.” He whispers urgently. “Get under the covers.” He directs and I listen.

I quickly flip the duvet over the top of both of us and lay as flat as possible beside him. He places an extra pillow on top of me.

There’s a soft knuckle knock at the bedroom door that’s been cracked open this entire time.

“Uh, come in!” Nick calls.

The door creaks open. “Hey.” Croaks a still somewhat drunk Noah.

“Hey dude… what’s up?” Nick asks.

Discreetly, he slips his hand beneath the covers and taps his finger gently against the bed. I take the hint and intertwine the tips of our fingers together. My tummy flips at the way he gives my fingers a little squeeze. It’s a small gesture, but it’s one that says some version of ‘partners in crime’.

“Were you… were you watching porn or something?” He asks, no doubt with a propped brow.

“What?” Nicks voice cracks. “No, no, I’ve just been watching…” He takes note of whatever’s on the TV. “Bob’s Burgers.”

“Oh…” Noah trails off unconvinced. “I just heard loud… noises coming from your room.”

My cheeks flush cherry red in embarrassment that I had been that loud. Nicholas gives my fingers another tiny reassuring squeeze.

“Nope, nope.” Nick shakes his head. “Nope, just Bob’s Burgers.”

“Right…” Noah replies. “Also, um, I just wanted to say thank you for rescuing me… us, from our mess.”

Us.

Our.

Nicholas nods, “Yeah of course, no problem.” He says hurriedly.

There’s an awkward silence between them. I can only assume it’s Noah giving Nick an odd look.

“Okay well… I’ll let you get back to… Bob’s Burgers then I guess.” Noah tapers out.

As the door begins to keep closed Nicholas blurts out, “Drink water!”

Noah pauses at the door, “I will. Thanks.” Before closing it behind him.

Both Nicholas and I are frozen in place until we hear Noah’s door close. I pop my head out from the duvet and the moment our eyes meet we bust out laughing. I press my forehead against my arm flat on the mattress laughing probably the hardest I have in a while.

Nick hits my shoulder playfully. “Shhh!” He whispers between his own giggles. “He’s gonna hear us!”

I swat his arm, “You’re laughing too you asshole!”

My chest hurts from both how hard I’m laughing and how much I’m trying to stop.

“’Were you watching porn?’” I imitate Noah which causes another fit of laughter.

“God.” Nick shakes his head. “That was pretty bad.”

I sigh and drag my hands down my face. “God I’m so fucking embarrassed.” I whine and land my face down into my folded arms.

“Yeah, I guess that’s kinda my fault. I thought he was knocked out.” Nicholas rakes through my hair softly. “I would say I’m sorry… but I’m not. I loved making you sound like that.”

I prop my head on my arm to scowl at him. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended to be compared to a pornstar. Jesus.”

He chuckles and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear then trails his fingertips across my jaw, tilting my chin up. “I’ve never heard a pornstar sound as good as you did with my tongue in your-“

I reach up and cover his mouth before he can finish because I know if he does, I won’t be able to leave without having him again. “Shush!”

He rolls his eyes with a smile tugging at the corner of his lip.

Quiet falls over us before panic courses through me and I perk straight up. Oh my god I’m such a fucking idiot.

Nick wiggles his brows at me, “You good?”

“Jesus I’m so stupid. I was only concerned about the birth control but I didn’t even fucking ask if you’re clean?” I ask, the reality of my horny decisions hit me all at once.

Truthfully, I was selfish, and I wanted to feel him fully. Though it didn’t occur to me until just now that he is a musician after all.

“Yeah?” He answers without hesitation. “Are you?”

“Yes. Of course.” I reply like it’s obvious. “But are you sure? Because I know, like, being in a band and everything…”

“Yeah, I got tested recently. I’m clean.” He leans over and pulls out a folded paper from somewhere in his bedside table, and hands it to me. “Here. Proof.”

I unfold the paper to reveal exactly what he said, negative test results. But then I notice the date. “Recently? This is over a year old?” I flip the page towards him.

“Yeah,” He clears his throat. “I haven’t slept with anyone since then.”

I scoff, “You? Haven’t slept with anyone in over a year?”

“Except you? No.” He shakes his head.

I squint at him skeptically and cautiously hand he paper back to him. “I find that hard to believe. I mean you’re…well you.”

“I’m not quite sure what that’s supposed to mean but,” He sighs and sits up a bit, “My ex and I broke up just before that.”

“Got it.” I nod. I wonder if that’s the ex Noah mentioned in the kitchen weeks ago, Alice. But I’m certainly not going to ask and then have to explain how I know that.

I lay back down and reclaim my spot from earlier, cuddling into him with my head on his chest — even though I definitely should be trying to escape before the rest of them get home. It’s been a long while since I’ve had someone to cuddle like this, it’s nice and warm. I probably shouldn’t feel safe with someone I barely know, but I do, and I can already feel it starting to lull me to sleep. Sleep is not something that comes easy to me, most nights I only get about 4 hours of it.

His fingers begin to play with my hair and my heart swells. I can’t help but nuzzle into him further, he makes a small comfortable noise. The pads of his fingers start to massage my scalp.

I’m not sure if he just assumed I fell asleep, but a quiet hummed melody comes from his chest. It’s familiar and comforting but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I know this song

What is it

Without lifting my head, “Is that twinkle twinkle little star?”

He chuckles, sounding a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was cute.” I dig my teeth into my bottom lip to hold back a smile even though he can’t see me. “I liked it. Keep going?”

He’s quiet.

“Do you ever sing? I don’t hear a lot of other vocals on your tracks besides backups.”

He laughs, “No, no. I can’t sing. Not really anyway. The only thing I think I’m half decent is twinkle twinkle little star, that’s why I hum it. I don’t really know why. Maybe I sang it a lot as kid or something? But I hum it sometimes if I’m stressed or nervous.”

I stay silent for a bit. “Are you nervous right now?”

Quiet.

“Yeah, I guess a bit. But mostly I thought it’d help you sleep.” His finger tucks a hit of hair behind my ear.

“Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know.”

But I know.

“Me too.” I reply quietly.

He seems to understand as I do.

I hear his heart rate pick up under my head. My own heartbeat matches his and suddenly I feel like I’m in high school hanging out with a crush for the first time. I’m so grateful that I’m not facing him because my face is burning hot.

“Can you sing it to me?” I ask.

He chuckles anxiously, “No, no, no. My voice isn’t that good, and the song is so lame.”

“C’mon,” I search for his hand and hesitantly intertwine our fingers. “Please I wanna hear it?”

He lets out a small, flustered groan, “Fine. But you can’t make fun of me. And this doesn’t,” He gives my fingers a tight squeeze. “This does not leave this room. Ever. Got it?”

I giggle. “Got it.”

He timidly begins singing and his voice is light, soft, and smooth. Which isn’t really what I expected from his deep, grainy voice. It’s beautiful and soothing, nonetheless.

Between his voice and his fingers massaging my head, I don’t last long enough to even hear the second verse.

Next Chapter -> 10 - Maybe Both, Maybe Neither

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A/N: The love for this story has honestly been so overwhelming (in a good way obv) and I couldn't be more grateful. I really thought this would flop lol so, thank you so much for every like, reblog, ask, or comment. It means the world to me truly. Thank you.

i love hearing your thoughts so feel free to share! (i'm really bad at responding to comments/asks but i still love them 😅 i'm so sorry)

ALSO! Thank you so much for the love on my new series, Intertwined 💗 New chapter coming soon! 💗